Spinning out in all directions;

The Health Impacts of Weight Stigma (and a little rant on what a diet is)

2011-10-12T10:00:00.001-06:00

Hello! Below is a literature review I've submitted for a qualitative research class I am doing. It is a good summary of the books and articles that have shaped my view on weight and health over the past few years. In other words, it is why I've become such a rabid promoter of unconditional body acceptance and Health at Every Size. No more diets! I think the waters have become somewhat muddy between dieting and eating healthfully. There are so many terms bandied around right now: clean eating, whole eating, detox, lifestyle change. How do we know if what we are doing is a positive change to improve our health or a diet and can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and weight cycling? Simple, eating healthy becomes a diet when you are making changes to the food you eat with the express intention of losing weight as a result.

Enough of that, here be the lit review:

The importance of good health makes an appearance in the news daily. The growing number of websites, books and television programs dedicated to health and their popularity demonstrates a heightened interest in pursuing health. Despite all the information available to us about health, we find ourselves in the grips of an epidemic that is compromising the health we hold so dear: weight stigma. The ideology of ‘fat is bad, thin is good’ is buried deep within our cultural psyche. Body dissatisfaction and dieting have become so commonplace that saying ‘I’m happy with my body and I eat what I want’ is hard to imagine, even from a person that is generally accepted as thin. The good news is, weight stigma is a social construct that we have the power to change. This literature review examines the current thinking on the impacts of the so-called obesity epidemic rhetoric on women’s health and self esteem, weight stigma as a tool for the oppression, and support embracing body diversity and ending fat stigma as a path to good health.

Obesity Epidemic

Does the current ‘obesity epidemic’ messaging having a negative impact on our health? What are the links between ‘obesity epidemic’ messages and weight stigma? Central to this discussion is our understanding of what constitutes a healthy weight and what the health dangers of a larger size body are. MacInnes (1993) discusses the underpinnings of the current ‘obesity epidemic’ rhetoric which she states as; an ideal weight exists. weight is governed by conscious control and fat people are overfed.

Similarly, Bacon & Amphramer (2011) suggest assumptions underlying ‘obesity epidemic’ rhetoric and weight-loss as a health goal: 1) the relationship between weight and disease is a direct causal link (emphasis mine), 2) the relationship between weight loss and longevity, 3) anyone who is determined can lose weight and keep it off, 4) pursuit of weight loss is a practical and positive goal, 5) the only way for overweight and obese people to improve health is to lose weight, 6) obesity costs health care and the economy.

The ever-increasing media coverage of weight and health that is steeped in ‘obesity epidemic’ messaging with the above described underpinnings further solidifies the ‘fat is bad’ mindset and fosters an environment of fat or weight stigma. Bacon & Aphramer (2011) warn us that a weight-loss focus creates an unresolvable paradox in our approach to health which not only becomes ineffectual, it is harmful to health. Wilson (2009) warns us that ‘crafting the “obesity epidemic” as the crux of health concerns deflects us from what is really causing ill-health; oppression and poverty’ (p. 55).

Diets don’t work. There is mounting evidence to support the fact that encouraging dieting behaviour results in weight gain (Bacon & MacInnes, 2011, 1993). Yet dieting and decreasing weight is still the main tool that is offered to the public to increase health. Dieting has become ensconced in our cultural identity, and a majority of women in North America are now dieting (Bacon, et al p. 929).

Further evidence comes from Gaesser (2009) who looks at statistics on weight loss through the National Weight Control Registry. Recent data collected shows that 77% of weight lost through diets and intentional weight loss efforts is regained within four or five years (p. 38). These low success rates of diets combined with fat hatred and unfounded health fears of fat ensure those who make profits of weight-loss diets and exercise programs are sure to have repeat customers.

It is important for us to take a critical look at the relationship between the weight loss industry and public health messaging around weight. Many obesity research projects are funded by weight loss companies (Campos, 2004). Drug company money funds research, public health education, and policy forums, increasing influence of the diet industry into mainstream public health discourse (Lyons, 2009). The relationship between the weight loss industry and those constructing public health policy is evident when the exaggerated consequences of higher weight and the downplayed ineffectiveness of diets / obesity treatments are examined. More worrisome is the evidence that suggest diets resulting in weight cycling are more harmful to health than extra poundage (Lyons). Risks of weight cycling can include hypertension, depression and ironically weight gain over time (Lyons).

Weight Stigma and Oppression

How we view our bodies and our relationship with food all happen within a particular societal context. (Brown & Jasper, 1993) In Western North American society we have embraced the thin-ideal and combined with a deep seated fear of fat bodies, manifests as weight/fat stigma. The messaging of ‘fat is bad’ has become internalized and so commonplace we do not see the oppression, which has become buried under health messaging (MacInnes, 1993). The impacts of fat stigma are comparable, or even greater than discrimination based on race or gender in our society (Bacon & Martin, 2011, 2007).

The medical community has played a big part in shaping our attitudes about weight and what it means to be fat. Weight stigma is commonplace among those who work in healthcare, increasing the likelihood of people who fall into the ‘obese’ category to avoid meeting with their healthcare providers (Drury & MacInnes, 2002, 1993). Weight stigma and the shame it produces has been shown to increase negative health behaviours such as increased eating, decreased activity and avoiding medical care (Bacon & Aprhamer, 2011). These barriers to healthy behaviours and care from health professionals suggests a need to explore how much the link between higher body weights to bad health outcomes in some studies is a factor of reduced access to health care because of weight stigma, rather than actual body size.

In developed nations there is a strong link between low socio-economic status (SES) and high body weight. Ernsberger (2009) suggests it isn’t necessarily being poor that makes people fat, but rather social stigma and discrimination that makes fat people more likely to be poor. One of the leading predictors of body size being the neighbourhood you live in. Being fatter than another person does not increase your risk of death if you have a similar socio-economic status, suggesting income level is key to health more so than body size (Ernsberger). MacInnes (1993) also explored the idea that fatness may determine SES rather than poverty causing fatness. For example she reflects men of higher economic status are not likely to marry a woman who is fat and there for not reflective of the cultural beauty ideal. Looking at fatness as result of poverty is in the end, not helpful as examining and eliminating barriers to food and movement is important for all who are living in poverty (Wilson 2009).

It appears being fat is only hazardous to health for a person living in a culture of fat stigma embracing intentional weight loss practices (dieting). The connection between higher body mass and negative health outcomes all but disappears in non-western countries that do not have the negative stigma that comes with being a larger person (Ernsberger, 2009). A causal relationship between weight stigma and poverty suggests the current focus on reducing weight for better health is unwarranted and perhaps resources used to address the so-called obesity epidemic could be diverted into addressing and eliminating poverty. The ill effects of poverty do not discriminate between fat and thin.

It is important to note that weight stigma negatively impacts all women (and increasing men as well). Fat hatred messages are internalized by women of all sizes (MacInnes, 1993) and sadly there seems to be no particular body size that guarantees a feeling of body acceptance and self worth. Brown and Zimberg (2008) look at the issue through and feminist lens and theorize that “this issue is on a continuum...every woman has an eating disorder” (p. 401).

There is much to consider when it comes to oppression and the larger female body, such as the multiple oppressions of fat, gender and often race. It is important to consider how they all intersect and impact each other (ErdmanFarrell & Wilson, 2011, 2009). Brown (2008) suggests that “Femininity is shaped by the prevailing discourse of self-management and the gendered expectation of self-restraint is played out through women’s dieting and self control” (p. 93). Our societal expectations as women come into play here and any examination of fat/weight stigma is incomplete without looking at the issue through a gender lens.

Self-restraint when it comes to women and food is not a new phenomenon (Wolf, 1991). “Food is a primal symbol of worth” (p. 188). In many different cultures and in many different time periods women have restricted their food intake because of social norms dictating men have access to better quality and greater amounts of food because of the greater value place on men in society. These behaviours are exhibited in more recent times as dieting and eating healthfully as such obvious patriarchal attitudes are no longer seen as politically correct (Wolf). Weight pre-occupation for women in western society can be tied to women’s struggle with equality, starting with the suffragette movement in the early 1900’s (Wolf). The perpetuations of the thin-ideal, the “Iron Maiden” (p.188) is a tool of oppression that distracts women from fully engaging in the struggle for equality. “The more financially independent, in control of events, educated and sexually autonomous women become in the world, the more impoverished, out of control, foolish and sexually insecure we are asked to feel about our bodies” (p. 197).

Moving forward

The paradigmatic evidence against the accuracy of an ‘obesity epidemic’ is mounting. An alternative to the diet/intentional weight loss approach is Health at Every Size (HAES).

Bacon et al (2005) describe this emerging approach (also know as ‘non-diet approach, mindful eating, intuitive eating) which emphasizes people adopting health habits for the sake of health and well-being (rather than weight control). Results from a study comparing two groups of women who are classified as obese are shared. One cohort in the study is offered a traditional diet and lifestyle change group and the other a group that works together to implement the HAES principles. Each group meets weekly for 24 weeks to improve health outcomes related to obesity (p.930). The study evaluated health indicators such as metabolic fitness, energy expenditure, eating behaviour and psychological health (p.932). The diet group participants lost more weight than the HAES group initially, but much of the weight was regained. The HAES group’s weight loss was minimal, but showed marked improvement in the health indicators outlined above (p. 932). In the six follow-up aftercare sessions the members of the HAES demonstrated an ongoing commitment to the lifestyle changes inspired by participating in the group whereas the participants in traditional diet approach group did not maintain healthy behaviour changes to the same extent as those in the HAES group (p. 935).

In this study, women who are considered both obese and chronic dieters were able to improve their health through embracing body acceptance, tuning into their body’s cues for food and exercise, and not dieting (Bacon, et al, 2005). These are encouraging results that suggest the need for more research in the area of a non-diet approach to address health concerns currently linked to obesity.

Success of a body acceptance and non-diet approach to health raises questions about implications for practice in health care and in social work. Bacon (2011) quotes a 2009 study in the American Journal of Public Health stating body image has a bigger impact on health than body size, and the stigma related to being fat is a major contributor to obesity associated disease. (p. 6) If we truly care about people’s health, it is becoming clearer that we must be willing to acknowledge the deep seated bias of the fat body that is clouding our approaches to promoting healthy living. The simplistic and harmful thin= healthy paradigm needs to change.

Efforts at reducing fat stigma would reflect a true concern for people’s health (Bacon & Aphramer, 2011). A simple shift of moving body size out of the equation when thinking about health and fitness and instead focussing on self acceptance, nutritious diet and increasing activity levels, would be a positive move for public health (Martin, 2007). Grass-roots health promotion lead by larger-size women is needed (Wilson, 2009).

Further areas of research include looking at how women can be supported empowering themselves and embracing body acceptance. Brown and Zimberg (2008) suggest an approach that includes looking at the origins of weight pre-occupation and learning to be in touch with feelings and needs. Assumptions that fat women have a problem, eat emotionally, eat more than thin women, and want to lose weight must be addressed (Brown & Zimberg).

“A fat woman who accepts her body must still live in a society that hates it.” (MacInnes, 1993, p. 75). Fat women who are not actively trying to change their body shape to conform to society’s thin-ideal are choosing not to adhere to the conventions of beauty. They are “resisting their oppressors, challenging the connotation of fat as ugly, as lazy, as unhealthy” (p. 76). They are moving forward by coming together to challenge fat stigma, to become ‘body outlaws’. We must pause and explore with those who have been successful in moving past the pressures of weight stigma and are pursuing health despite living in fat bodies to find out what conditions and supports made this possible for them. Brown (2008) talks about a feminist approach to heathy body size that challenges the medical model which perpetuates the doctor as expert. Instead we should look to paradigms that embrace empowerment, social change and self direction.

References

Bacon, L., Stern, J., Van Loan, M., & Keim, N., (2005). Size acceptance and intuitive eating improve health for obese, female chronic dieters. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 105, 929-936.

Bacon, L., (2008). Health at every size: The surprising truth about your weight. Dallas, TX. BenBella Books, Inc.

Bacon, L., & Aphramor, L., (2011). Weight science: Evaluating the evidence for a paradigm shift. Nutrition Journal, 10:9. Retrieved from http://www.nutritionj.com/content/10/1/9

Brown, C., Weber, S., & Ali, S., (2008). Women’s body talk: A feminist narrative approach. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 27, 92-104.

Campos, P., (2004). The obesity myth: Why america’s obsession with weight is hazardous to your health. New York. Gotham Books.

Drury, C. A. A., & Louis, M., (2002). Exploring the association between body weight, stigma of obesity and health care avoidance. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 14, 554 - 561.

Erdman Farrell, A., (2011). Fat shame: Stigma and the fat body in American culture. New York. New York University Press.

Ernsberger, P., (2009). Does social class explain the connection between weight and health? In E.
Rothblum & S. Solovay (Eds.) , The fat studies reader (25 - 36). New York. New York University Press.

Gaesser, G., (2009). Is “permanent weight loss” an oxymoron? The statistics on weight loss and the National Weight Control Registry. In E. Rothblum & S. Solovay (Eds.) , The fat studies reader (37-41). New York. New York University Press.

Lyons, P., (2009). Prescription for harm: Diet industry influence, public health policy, and the “Obesity Epidemic”. In E. Rothblum & S. Solovay (Eds.) , The fat studies reader (75 - 87). New York. New York University Press.

MacInnes, B., (1993). Fat Oppression. In C. Brown & K. Jasper (Eds.) , Consuming passions: Feminist approaches to weight preoccupation and eating disorders (69-79). Toronto. Second Story Press.

Martin, C. E., (2007). Perfect girls, starving daughters: The frightening new normalcy of hating your body. New York. Free Press.

Wilson, B., (2009). Widening the dialogue to narrow the gap in health disparities: Approaches to fat black lesbian and bisexual women’s health promotion. In E. Rothblum & S. Solovay (Eds.) , The fat studies reader (54-64). New York. New York University Press.

Wolf, N., (1991). The Beauty Myth. Toronto. Random House.

Jennifer Warnes

2011-09-19T09:52:00.000-06:00

Last night I had the privilege to go with my husband and hear Jennifer Warnes sing live. She played at the Broadway Theatre here in Saskatoon - a nice intimate venue. It was truly an amazing show that affected me deeply. Ms. Warnes brought with her just two musicians, a guitar player and a bass player. At the start of the show she told us that she was happy to tour again at this point in her career because she felt no pressure to bow to the business side of the music business and that she was excited to come and sing what *she* wanted to sing. And that's what she did. She shared with us songs she loved from songwriters she respected. It meant that she didn't sing many of her hits, or even many songs from her albums. Admittedly I was disappointed at first thinking I wouldn't hear much from Famous Blue Raincoat, but that disappointment didn't last long. It doesn't matter what Jennifer sings...it is magical. And I got to learn about different songwriters that she encouraged us to check out.

Jennifer didn't stay away totally from songs she has recorded, I was thrilled when Aint No Cure for Love came up and Lights of Louisiana. The highlight for me definitely was Up Where We Belong, which was just as powerful without Joe Cocker. Jennifer told us Up Where we Belong was written by Buffey Sainte Marie and gifted to her back in 1983...and that it changed her life. I don't think I am able to adequately express what it was like for me to experience to hear her sing this song...one I loved so much as a girl. All I know is it felt like my heart was going to burst from the emotions it stirred.

I once read Jennifer's voice described as something like "soft and warm like California, with an earthquake just under the surface', and I always thought it was an apt description. I also really liked her persona, how she just comes out and sings without a lot of hoopla. She seems very comfortable with herself - a woman who has definitely come to know herself well and claimed her sovereignty. She was friendly and gracious with her musicians and with the audience. A love-fest and I loved every moment of it.

endometrial ablations R us.

2011-08-23T00:39:00.001-06:00

Haven't been here awhile....good thing I popped by, because I almost forgot about the Blog Carnival on Weight Stigma. There is a post due next week - better get working on it!

Today was a big day for me. I had surgery for the first time by getting an endometrial ablation, a procedure I've been hoping to have for quite a few years now. It's a very simple procedure, in which the uterine lining is essentially cauterized and in most cases eliminates or greatly reduces menstrual bleeding. Me, I hoping for elimination. After a lifetime of heavy, painful periods that come almost every three weeks (like, really!) it will be such a relief to let this wondrous mystery of womanhood move into my past. We'll see how it goes.

With all this, I've had to do a bit grieving again about never having had a baby. This procedure now makes my body incapable of sustaining new life. I've mostly done this work, as it has been many years now since Jon has had his vasectomy, but now this procedure puts another final period on our decision not to have children. It's not about regret in the that we made the wrong decision....it is still a good one for Jon and me. But, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a pull on my heart strings. And, it didn't help being at my neice's son's birthday last week. Her children are both so adorable and both sought me out to hang out with. For some reason, Dana's children get to me...in them I see the children I could have had. I don't know why, but they are an extra special gift. :0)

The surgery itself was quite simple - I was in and out of the hospital in six hours. I got there at 6:30 this morning and hung out in a room w/ Jon for three hours, and then after than it went rather quickly. They took me to the OR where I got to talk to my doctor and the anethieseolgist. I was quite nervous, partly because I know that going under general anesthetic is never risk-free, and that I was nervous about what going under would feel like...would it feel like I was losing control? That part scared me. The anesthesiologist set my mind at ease...she seemed very competent. And she did offer to put be under by doing some kind of spinal tap that would have allowed me to stay conscious during the procedure....ummm..NO THANKS! First of all....a needle in my spine? And...being conscious while my uterus is cauterize? I'll pass. But, it was okay. The OR staff were great and chatted me up. I waited for someone to ask me to count backwards from 10...but that didn't happen. And there was no slow drifting away that they allude to in movies. For me, one moment I was chatting about what I did for a living (god knows what I said!) and the next I woke up in recovery.

And it all went spanking well. I'm feeling quite good. I am going to take the next few days to rest and treat my body very kindly. At 42 I'm not quite ready to be thinking about Crone-hood, but I cannot help but think of this procedure as a first step down that path. As I prefer the framework of Maiden/Mother-Queen/Crone to the usual Triple Goddess view of womanhood I am seeing myself really embracing my Queendom, my Sovereignty. And those of you who are familiar with my Avalonian leanings know that Sovereignty is what it is all about.

I have much yet to do to prepare for my Crone years....and I'm feeling in a good place to do that work.

I'm entering a blog carnival on weight stigma. Come join me for the ride!

2011-07-27T20:38:00.009-06:00

Greetings! It has been awhile since I've been here. Nothing much has inspired me to write lately until I came across this Blog Carnival hosted by Voices in Recovery. The idea is for people to blog on the last Wednesday of every month for July, August and September about weight stigma and body dissatisfaction.

The hope is to raise awareness for the upcoming National Weight Stigma Awareness Week September 26-30 (more to come on this). I think this is a great idea, so I am happy to join in. I also love that they are using the principles of Non Violent Communication for their blogging guidelines. Awesome!

These are the topics for the carnival:

July 27th – What does weight stigma mean to you?

August 31st – How does weight stigma increase body dissatisfaction?

September 14th – Why is having a National Weight Stigma Awareness Week important and what are you going to do to contribute?

Here is my July 27th contribution.

What does weight stigma mean to you?

stigma |ˈstigmə|

noun: a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person: the stigma of mental disorder | to be a nonreader carries a social stigma. (from my computer dictionary)

A mark of disgrace. How sad that our bodies, these carbon-based miracles that are the vessels through which we live our lives, can be a mark of disgrace. How can the body that brings life into the world, be a disgrace? Or the one who tends to the sick, carries out our garbage, makes loves, comforts, embraces, dances....how can it possibly be a disgrace? And, yet for most of us, it is.

What is underneath the disgrace? I think it is assumptions..the assumptions we make about people because of their size. I am stigmatized if you assume because I am a large-size person that (among other things) :

-I don’t take care of myself
-I am a couch potatoe -I am lazy
-I have low self-esteem
-I eat too much
-I am not a good employee -I cannot get the job done

-I am unhealthy

Weight stigma means an alarming percentage of people are not treated with basic human dignity. It means that for people who don’t meet the thin-ideal, body hatred is common. It is important to note weight stigma is not just perpetuated on larger size people. Very thin people often have assumptions that they are sick or that they have an eating disorder, even when they just happen to be quite slender. Our society seems to have an unquenchable thirst for reading character traits into body size. This is tragic because weight stigma means many people don’t achieve their full potential in their careers, their interests, their relationships.

Why do I give a crap? Because the personal is political. Because I have lived under the crushing burden of weight stigma all my life. I allowed body loathing fueled by weight stigma to keep me from pursuing a career in the theatre when I was young. For far too long I allowed it to keep me from playing sports and being active. I allowed it to keep me from treating my body with respect.

But there is hope. Over the past few years I have learned much and am breaking free of the stigma. I’ve learned that I don’t need to be thin to be healthy, attractive, successful. I can get out from under the weight of weight stigma.

No more will I allow myself see my body as a mark of disgrace! My body has done and continues to do so much for me, that it deserves the best treatment my life and resources allow. It deserves to be fed healthy food and feel the pleasure of a treat now and then. It deserves to be moved in ways I find enjoyable without the pressure of weight loss attached to it. It deserves to be pampered, caressed and adorned with finery that pleases me.

Curious, I decided to find out what the opposite of stigma is, and according to an online dictionary the antonyms of stigma are:

honour, pride

Yes! These are the words I am going to use when thinking and talking about my body!

I decided to create my own dictionary definition I can get behind:

BodyRespect, noun: a mark of pride associated with accepting yourself, right now...AS YOU ARE!

I like Adelle more and more...

2011-06-10T22:38:00.000-06:00

Is she a Marcia? Or a Jeanne?

2011-06-10T21:49:00.000-06:00

movie gush: Shakespeare in Love

2011-04-25T10:48:00.001-06:00

Last night I pulled out one of what I think of as my movie standbys, one of the movies I seem to be able to watch repeatedly. Among others this list includes The Shawshank Redemption, Beetlejuice, The Colour Purple, The Bourne Movies, Terminator movies, Fried Green Tomatoes, etc, As you've likely guessed from the post title last night I indulged in poetry and romance and popped in my Shakespeare in Love DVD.

There is just so much going for this movie; romance, poetry, humour, good writing, great acting and direction. First of all...the poetry! Although this movie was not written by Shakespeare, it is infused with his work. We are treated to much of Romeo and Juliet which is being produced in the film as the action unfolds, and as well there are many other allusions to his other works, not the least being fun imaginings on what may have inspired some of the great lines in his plays. One example being the street preacher who is ranting about the evils of the theatre and the scourge of the two play houses in London at that time. In his rant he comes out with 'a plague on both your houses!' as our hero Will walks by. I also love how the main character, Violet becomes Will's inspiration for Viola in Twelfth Night, one of Shakespeare's best female characters.

Geoffrey Rush

In my poking around on IMDB I found out that Tom Stoppard was one of the writers and that makes sense to me as he seems to have a wonderful understanding of the Bard and an ability to play with the words and characters while remaining true to heart of Shakespeare. I am referring to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (which deserves it's own post....Gary Oldman playing a Shakespearean Ted type character as in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" is amazing!)...but I digress! In Shakespeare in Love the writers make use of very Shakespearean comedy tools of mistaken identity and gender swapping.

Tom Wilkinson

Now, the acting. Joseph Fiennes and Gwyneth Paltrow are central and both are quite good in this movie. I have not liked Joseph as much in subsequent films, but here he hits all the right notes. Gywneth I think is particularly suited to this role. And they seem to have some real chemistry between them. So, the core in this movie is solid, but I think it is the most wonderful cast of supporting characters that really makes this movie sing. Geoffrey Rush is really good as Henslowe, the theatre owner who has a wonderful philosophy of things always somehow working out and when asked 'how?' his reply is: "I don't know. It's a mystery". Judi Dench is magnificent as Queen Elizabeth. And there is also Colin Firth! Simon Callow! Imelda Staunton! There is also the stuttering tailor who gives the prologue for the play who I recently figured out is the fellow who plays Arthur Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. And, one of my favourite actors has a wonderful supporting part; Tom Wilkinson as Fennyman the money lender who financially backs the production. I am totally charmed by how during the course of producing Romeo and Juliet Fennyman becomes enraptured with the story and is overcome when Will offers him the role of the Apothecary. The one bleak mark in the casting is Ben Affleck as the acclaimed actor Ned Alleyn....the dude just does not hold his own with the rest of this wonderful cast. He seems awkward and out of place.

I am a bit of a geek and love to read the trivia notes about movies on IMDB and was surprised to hear that initially Julia Roberts was tied to this film and that was intent on working with Daniel Day Lewis. Of course after the fact other actors always hard to imagine, and I am sure she would have done a fine job...but I am glad it worked out the way it did. Now that I think about, if they had Lewis in Affleck's role of the famous actor Alleyn that would have been perfect.

So, there it is.. a Monday Movie Moment. Now I think I can move on to other things. Like Much Ado About Nothing being produced on Facebook. Seriously!

braggy moment

2011-04-23T14:48:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling pumped because this afternoon I went farther and faster than I ever have on my elliptical machine. I was 2 seconds shy of reaching 5.6 (kms? ...whatever distance the odometer reads) and I did an average of 50 RPMs. Never done that before!

I must say I don't have any particular goals when it comes to cardio, other than to keep it up, especially because it has been such a boon to my mental health and plays a significant role in keeping anxiety in check. But it does feel good to know that my fitness is increasing.

So, here's me, tooting my own horn.

Fat models gonna make us all fat!

2011-04-23T12:08:00.004-06:00

An article about a study called Stop Making People Think Being Fat is OK came across my FB newsfeed this morning.

The authors of this study are trying convince us that "promoting images of heavy models is actually worse for women's health in the long run." Apparently we are going to get the message that being fat is okay, and ......well, I'm not sure what the fear is. Perhaps that we will all stop pursuing health, unbutton our pants and flop on the couch with a bag of cheetos???

Crystal Renn

They are claiming that countries who have more 'larger size' models have a bigger 'obesity epidemic' problem. And this confuses me. First off the *very* recent and small trend of including more average size models in fashion shoots could not be responsible for the much ballyhooed obesity epidemic, which we've been hearing about for years now, long before the models started making an appearance. Second, these so-called plus size models are hardly 'overweight', coming in at size 8/10/12 they are still below average.

What is interesting is that the authors of the study and many body acceptance activists are on the surface calling for the same thing, for the beauty/fashion industry to offer up 'healthy' images of women. But, it appears the study authors have a different idea of what is healthy - equating health with skinny and emaciated. They seem to believe women should only have bodies they have to work really hard to maintain, and that must be sacrificed for: "Everyone has to trade off in life a number of things like the pleasure of eating and going to the gym as a cost".

So, the message is that we are not allowed to enjoy food, and moving your body is a chore. Being healthy is a direct correlation to how you look and must come at a cost. Bullocks.

The logic in their argument is completely ridiculous. The study authors claim that if media stays away from these images of plus-size women and instead feeds us a diet of skinny ("healthy") images, obesity would be less of a problem because we would be inspired by these images to diet and shed those nasty pounds and be healthier. Wait a minute....isn't that what we have lived with since at least the time of Twiggy in the 70's? We have been inundated with images of super thin models and actresses for many years, and what do we have? A generation of women where 90% of us are dissatisfied with their bodies and are willing to shell out more and more money for diets that are doomed to fail. I've read that somewhere that 60% of women would be willing to trade a least a year of their life for an ideal body shape. What really gets me, is if we are indeed larger as a society, there is much evidence that points to dieting and body dissatisfaction as being the culprit. Dieting fosters an unhealthy relationship to food, reduces set points on a body's metabolism (when the body is exposed to restrictive diets it thinks we have entered a famine and fights to hold on to life-saving body fat). This yo-yo dieting often results in higher body weights and is way more unhealthy than a high BMI.

It is interesting to see this backlash against the small gains that have been made in the body acceptance/fat acceptance movement. The arguments are actually so outlandish that I am hopeful most people will see it for the fallacy it is.

Chai concentrate saga update - and me playing around on Pixelmator

2011-04-13T21:10:00.002-06:00

Those of you who are FB friends with me may remember my lament a couple of months ago about my inability to lay my hands on the decaf version of my most beloved TAZO Chai concentrate. Despite combing the city (well, really just checking out a couple of Starbucks and London Drugs) and an intensive internet search (I swear, I almost broke a sweat) I felt it was not in the cards for me to have the sweet, sweet nectar without the detrimental effects on caffiene on my system.

That brings me to yesterday when a friend came by with this as a present for moi! Wasn't that a sweet thing to do??? Apparently it is available at one of the fancy new Wal-Mart super centres. Wahoo...

sidebar: I finally figured out how to manipulate text and draw a line on a photo using my Pixelmator program. Pretty cool, eh?

Meal Planning 101 - a new journey for me.

2011-04-09T11:31:00.001-06:00

I've always been rather hit and miss when it comes to cooking. Sometimes I enjoy it and often not. For a long time now, I've wanted to do a little better. I've no delusions of suddenely becoming a foodie, but I would like eat more fresh food and rely on store bought soups and pre-made foods a little less. And, I would like to be a more savvy grocery shopper, making good use of the food I buy, and not feeling like I have to run to the store every day.

I've recognized that often my biggest stumbling block is just coming up with an idea of what the heck I want to make. That, and my own self talk that cooking is so much work and that I'm not really good at it. What I needed was a little coaching, and a little encouragement.

So, while surfing a couple of week ago I came upon this site, Taste Life Coaching. I enjoyed the site because it was encouraging an Intuitive Eating approach to cooking healthy food. When I saw that Jen (the site host) offered Menu Planning 101 coaching sessions I decided to take her up on it.

Last week was my first week and with Jen's help I came up with a this plan:

Monday: veggie soup based on the veggies in my fridge
Tues: left over soup for lunch and veggie/spinach lasagne for supper
Wed: lentil loaf
Thurs: left over lentil loaf
Fri: easy enchiladas.

For the most part it turned out really well. The soup was delicious. I think the best soup I've made. The only down side was that it had tomatoes in it (which Jon is not a fan of) so he was unable to enjoy it. However, my mother was visiting on Tuesday and she and I enjoyed it very much for lunch. And I was able to freeze three individual servings for another time.

The lasagne was also quite good and we had lots leftover so it was our supper on Wednesday night as well. No need to make the lentil loaf.

Thursday I thought I would make the lentil loaf, but I was feeling a little pooped, so decided to have more of Monday's soup for supper. Last night (Friday) was lazy enchilada night, and it was very good. Super easy recipe of Jen's: you just take a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup and heat it up with some milk, chopped onion and a can of green chilies. Layer a baking pan with the soup mixture, quarters of corn tortillas and shredded cheese (a mexi-blend works really well) and bake until yummy.

So, on to this week! I am going to an Italian-themed potluck tonight so I am going to take an Italian-style salad for that. Here is the rest of my plan:

Sunday: rice paper roles with a side dish of Asian-style guacamole (I found the recipe for while with my mother at the doctor's office on Tuesday).
Monday: time to make that lentil loaf that I missed last week and serve it with some mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts.
Tuesday: left over lentil loaf served crumbled into a green salad
Wed: Avocado and black bean salad
Thurs: homemade veggie-burgers
Friday: order in!

Sunday (tomorrow) I will do as much prep for the week as I can with cooking up the black beans for the salad, cooking up some brown rice to have on hand and making sure all my salad stuff is washed and prepped for easy assembly.

Monday I will again cook up a nice batch of steel cut oats for my breakfasts. Now that I now that they reheat quite nicely, I think I can give up my intstant oatmeal with all it's unnecessary sugar.

So - that it for now! Wish me luck.

Yoga challenge update

2011-04-07T07:35:00.003-06:00

I have no idea where I am in the 30 day Yoga challenge, but my guess is that it is winding down. I would say I've been somewhat successful in my goals. I've certainly maintained my 3 times/week practice, and have made progress into increasing that. I have this new benefit at work called the "Healthy Lifestyle Account" that will cover things like fitness classes, which is pretty awesome. I'm thinking I will try to find another yoga class to go to on a regular basis.

However, the actual motivation for this post is to share some progress I've made in my flexibility. My shoulder stand has been steadily improving over the last couple of years, especially my ability to get in and out of it with some level of grace as my ab muscles get stronger. At the end of shoulder stand, one drops their legs over their head into...well I don't know what the name of the pose is, but Lia always asked us to move into this and hold for 3 to 5 breaths at the end. So, the news is today I did not need to have blocks for my feet to rest on...they were able to reach the floor!

Cool.

the one in which I still don't like The Biggest Loser

2011-04-06T10:25:00.000-06:00

I was surfing the other day through my bookmarked sites and I came to About Face a site that encourages critical thinking about media images and messaging. We are asked to think about what ads are actually selling, what they are actually saying about who is portrayed in them, what is the underlying message. I came across this video, a snippet from The Biggest Loser:

"I'm proud that I made him vomit"

I have not been a fan of the show and never been inclined to watch it, an attitude that has been reinforced by this clip. I am not a fan of dieting in general, and definitely think that the drastic weight loss measures that are offered up in The Biggest Loser are very unhealthy. I firmly believe that any step you take to become healthier, whether it is too lose weight or just feel better needs to be something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life. I will argue beyond that ideally the steps taken be things that make you feel good and, dare I say...look forward to? Otherwise your life will be a constant battle of 'shoulds', which tend to wear a person down until they crack, fall off the wagon and dive headlong into the unhealthy behaviours that got them feeling bad in the first place.

I was struck by how the host, Jillian Michaels treats the contestants. Not only did it bother me to watch this guy get berated, but to see the reaction of another contestant who was in tears because she was so fearful that Jillian's wrath would turn on her. I guess I just don't understand this woman's popularity. I do understand the concept of tough love, and that having a coach who pushes you to move beyond self-limiting behaviours can be a good thing. I've experienced it. But, this is beyond that. This is abuse. And because we've convinced ourselves that being fat is about the worst thing you can be, we are willing to take it.

I believe shaming and humiliation are not a foundation for long-term motivation. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, feeling horrible about yourself doesn't seem to promote maintaining commitment to whatever self improvement strategies you've taken on. Now, Jillian does give the guy a patronizing hair ruffle and a 'I'm proud of you' in an attempt to build him up after she has pushed him so hard he had thrown up (probably just to make the abuse stop), but it comes off sounding false to me.

So, back to motivation. In terms of my own experience, for the first time in my life I have a solid, exercise routine that I have been committed to for almost two years now. I exercise every day (alternating cardio with yoga every morning), and with my dog walks, often twice a day. My fitness level is continually increasing. I am going faster and farther on my elliptical, and just recently I've noticed a significant jump. To do this, I've had to remove weight loss as a goal/motivating factor. If losing weight was my motivator, I would have given up long ago.

You see, after an initial drop in weight last year I seem to have plateaued to where I am now. In fact, my clothes are feeling a little tighter these past few weeks, so I likely may have gained a few recently. To be honest, sometimes I have to work at this not bothering me. After all, I am surrounded by messages of how I should look, what diets everyone is on and how I should be afraid of 'the fat' for my health. It is hard not to let those messages creep in and plant little seeds of 'Maybe I should go on a sugar-fast', or if 'I only eat soup for supper for the next few weeks my clothes with loosen up' or 'maybe I should do cardio every day'. But I know this doesn't work for me...in fact it does the opposite by creating a fixation on food that for me can lead to making unhealthy choices.

So, instead I take a breath and remember my mantra of "I eat a healthy diet, I move my body regularly...let the Fat fall where it may".

My body? She's bigger than the supposed ideal, but she is strong, healthy and attractive. She takes me where I need to go, she let's me experience the physical pleasures of life. I appreciate that and in thanks I take good care of her.

yeah, I like Terminator movies...

2011-04-03T18:40:00.001-06:00

I must confess to being a Terminator franchise fan. I seem to be able to watch the Terminator movies repeatedly (except for the third one, which I will comment on further down).

Last night we watched the directors cut of Terminator Salvation. I was looking forward to it, hoping to have more scenes added in and opportunity for character development. Or more explosions...either is good. But the only extra footage I took note of was a scene where the female resistance fighter who befriends Marcus stands mostly naked in the rain and they look at each other. Meh.

Granted, I did fall asleep for about 20 minutes, so maybe there was something while I was out...but still it struck me as a rather sad 'directors cut' of the movie.

Moving on to # 3 in the series and my beefs about it. In addition to it's just general lack of heart and inspiration, I was deeply disturbed by the female Terminator, or rather the Terminatrix. Not by the fact that there was a female Terminator...quite the contrary. Mostly I was disturbed by how she was terminated, with Arnold seeming to relish shoving a bomb device down her throat. It just smacked of 'take this you b*itch' - and of rape quite frankly. And that they made her robot face show fear and desperation as she was about to die really bugged me. You didn't see that with the male terminators. Sure they did everything they could to live, but their faces maintained the same impassive/menacing expression. Well, now that I think about it, in Terminator 2 Robert Patrick did show surprise when he was blasted, but it didn't have the same edge. I dunno, maybe I am reading too much into it? I had been so impressed with the character development of Sarah Conner for the 2nd film, that this was a real let down.

academia, here I come...

2011-04-03T10:54:00.006-06:00

After two months of painful waiting (I'm not good at being patient), I found out I've been accepted into the Masters of Social Work program at the University of Regina. My application outlined my plan to focus on Body Image and pursue my interest in the emerging academic field of Fat Studies. Here is my submission after the jump.

University of Regina, Masters of Social Work

Supplementary Admissions Information

Sydney Bell

January 2011

My desire to pursue a master’s degree in Social Work has been spurred on by an interest developed in the effects of negative body image, particularly on women in our society. I’ve channelled this interest into an approach I call BodyRespect (www.bodyrespect.ca ), from which I have been offering workshops and running supports groups on body image in Saskatoon for the past few years. My hope is to continue this path of study to deepen my knowledge and be able to expand into offering one to one body image counseling support.

There are interesting corollaries between the increasingly thin ideal of beauty in western society and the continued emergence of the equality of women. A narrow definition of beauty that excludes most women can be seen as a tool of oppression that keeps women from fully participating in society. As women make gains in their quest for equality, what is considered beautiful becomes harder to achieve.

Because I work in the health field I also have an interest in looking at how body size impacts health. It is my belief that the current concern and hype over what is called the obesity epidemic is overblown and fed by the diet industry. I see profits rather than health as the motives behind the ubiquitous ‘must lose weight’ messaging that is feeding into the oppressive narrow definition of beauty mentioned earlier. As women are empowered and begin to break away from the thin pre-defined beauty ideal, gears are shifting and health is now used as the oppressive tool.

A clearer understanding of the connection between weight and health will support those of us in the health field to be more effective in working with people to develop healthy lifestyles. By encouraging our clients to focus on eating a healthy diet and being active rather than focussing on weight or BMI we will be more successful in increasing the health of our community, simply because diet and exercise are in our realm of control. Body size isn’t.

Through my readings on body image I have become aware of the emergent discipline of Fat Studies[1], and I hope to spend a significant amount of energy during my graduate studies delving deeper into this field and find a way to contribute to the growing body of knowledge.

I will approach this work through my own lens as a woman, a feminist and a life-long learner. I have a passion for social justice that has been fuelled by my work over the past few years as a community developer. I also bring to this work a skill set that has been expanded and honed over the past eight years I have been working as a social worker in community development including communication, facilitation, project management, etc. Finally, as a larger-sized woman, I bring my own journey of body acceptance to bear. I have experienced first-hand the freedom of the revolutionary act of refusing to hate your body. And it compels me to work very hard to find ways to facilitate that experience for others.

[1] Fat Studies is becoming an interdisciplinary, cross-disciplinary field of study that confronts and critiques cultural constraints against notions of “fatness” and “the fat body”; explores fat bodies as they live in, are shaped by, and remake the world; and creates paradigms for the development of fat acceptance or celebration within mass culture.

http://www.bodypositive.com/Fat_Studies.htm

Childfree by Choice?

2011-03-19T09:15:00.006-06:00

Thanks to the latest edition of Bitch magazine I have found a couple new blogs to read on life without children. A Fresh Start and Life Without Baby are blogs by women who after years of trying to conceive with no success have decided to embrace their life without children and move forward in a positive manner.

It appears in the realm of women who are thinking/blogging about life without being parents and coping with the disappointment, dealing with the expectations of others, etc there are two camps. There are the child-free by choice folks and the child-free not by choice folks. The difference seemingly quite self-explanatory. Some people know all along they don't want to have children and never pursue it, and others, did want to procreate, but after not being successful in conceiving they now embrace a life without children. Both are looking for community, finding others who understand what they have gone through and for relief from the explosion of the mommy-blogging phenomena and parenting focused web content.

So, which one am I? I've always identified as a someone who is child-free by choice. Which maybe doesn't make sense as my husband and I at one point did want to have a child and did spend about three years trying to conceive to no avail. So, I could see how the argument could me made that we would fall into the child-free not by choice category.

Here's the thing. Even though we were pursuing having a baby that didn't happen for us, it seems to me we were making choices through the whole process. We chose to wait until I was 30 before trying to have a baby. We chose to not pursue medical fertility treatments. We chose not to pursue adoption or a foster care situation. There is a lot of by choice in my child-free situation.

It wasn't my choice that our attempts at baby-making would not succeed, it was my reality. How can choice come into play with something we have no have control over? I think choice comes into the picture in how we deal with whatever reality is presented to us.

I do, at times mourn not conceiving. I think I blogged awhile back about last Mother's Day when I surprised myself at becoming upset when my mother in law included me in some little goodie bags she had put together for the mothers in the family. Although I knew the gesture was coming from a place of caring and wanting to be inclusive, I didn't appreciate it. It felt at the time like 'I feel sorry for you and your childless state, so here you can celebrate Mother's Day with us because you are good mom to your cats and your dog'. I was horrified. It was the first time I was ever embarrassed at not being a mom.

But you know, that's okay. In the larger scheme of things I know how blessed I've been in my choice to not be a parent. It was a team decision with my husband who walks this journey with me. Family and friends have been amazingly supportive (including my mother in law!). I've not dealt with pressure and negative comments I've read other women deal with from family and community. It did take a while for my mom to finally accept that we would not have children (I had to remind her a couple of times of Jon's vasectomy), but she never harped, nagged or made me feel guilty.

So...childfree by choice? Or child-free not by choice?

I choose simply child-free.

Yoga challenge continues

2011-03-06T19:52:00.005-06:00

So far, so good. I think I am accomplishing what I want with this effort. It was tempting to skip today after a late night last night and a couple glasses of wine - but I had a reviving cup of herbal tea this afternoon and got myself going for a walk with the dog and 40 mins of yoga. I did pass on the Seane Corn program and revived the program Lia designed for me. It was nice to play some music and do it at my own pace. I've been doing this program for over a year and it feels like going home. Plus, I hadn't done a shoulder stand in a couple of weeks, and that felt good. Ms. Corn is on the program for tomorrow.

I also did a radical thing and put some David Gray on the ipod for my practice today instead of the yoga/new agey music I usually play. I don't mind the yoga salon music, but it was nice to enjoy David Gray....to break out of the notion of what kind of music is okay for yoga. Mr. Gray is playing in Vancouver right now...wish I could be there!

In other fitness news I've been feeling felt like I've backslid on my progress on the elliptical. I had gotten to the point where I was regularly getting to 5.5...KM or whatever the #'s on the panel represent. But for the past few weeks I've been just making it to 5.0. Until yesterday morning when once again I blew past the 5.0 and made it close to 5.4. That made me happy.

Emma Thompson | Endangered Species Supporter

2011-03-01T09:36:00.001-06:00

Emma Thompson has always been someone I admired. Talented, beautiful and a lovely combination of funny and serious. She can make you laugh and rip your heart out at the same time.

This short video is a wonder to behold. She takes a moment to briefly ponder what it would be like if getting a pimple didn't ruin our day. Or what freedom would we have if we could get up and get dressed without being in agony over how we look. What if we felt okay about who we are and the space we take up in the world?

That is a big one, I think...being okay with the space we take up. Why, why, why are we so consumed with being smaller...taking up as little space as possible? I read some theories tying it to gender socialization...we have been conditioned to be willing to play a supporting role - take a back seat to others, especially men.

It is ironic to me that being thin/small is considered *pretty*...but yet I wonder how much the desire to conform to the thin-ideal beauty standard is seated in a wish to disappear? To look how we are supposed to look so we can fade into the background and not bring too much attention to ourselves. To be a pretty back-drop.

What would you if the way you looked, right now was considered the ideal? How would you be spending your time? What would I do?

I wonder.

Yoga challenge day 2

2011-02-28T21:31:00.002-06:00

So far so good. Yesterday (Sunday) I did the Seane Corn Vinyasa DVD that I picked up and it was a great workout..an hour of most flow-style yoga. Challenging, but doable. And I felt so awesome after. Today I did a 1/2 hour of the more Iyengar style on my own this evening with some meditation.

My big challenge the next few days will be maintaining my commitment through my period which moving into the 'three days of pain and heavy flow' stage. But, the beauty of yoga is that you can alter your practice to accommodate whatever is going on with your body. I will stay away from the Seane Corn and my other yoga DVD for a few days and stick with restorative poses - especially the ones Lia showed me that are good for those menstrual days.

I did a meditation I found in the yoga deck and also found it to be very powerful:

Firefly Meditation

* Sit with your spine comfortably erect. Exhale completely.
* Inhale through the nostrils, imagining a standing wave rising in your body.
* Exhale through the nostrils, imagining light emanating from every pore of your skin.
* If you wish, call on the Spirit of Firefly and ask:

Be with me and help me to emanate light as naturally and effortlessly as you do.

Benefits:

* Improves your sense of personal boundaries
* Protects you from others draining your energy
* Prevents you from taking on other people’s emotions and energies

...namaste

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

2011-02-28T21:25:00.001-06:00

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really and truly enjoyed this book. I struggled somewhat as the literary and philosophical references went over my head at times, but the interesting characters more than made up for that. I found myself marking pages with quotes that captured me...things like:

" ...we have given up trying to meet others; we just meet ourselves. We don't recognize each other because other people have become our permanent mirrors."

"Poverty is a reaper; it harvests everything inside us that might have made us capable of social interaction with others.."

'...the ridiculous, superfluous cats who wander through our lives with all placidity and indifference of an imbecile are in fat the guardians of life's good and joyful moments, and of its happy web, even under the canopy of misfortune."

This book will stay in my library.

View all my reviews

30 day yoga challenge

2011-02-26T17:31:00.006-06:00

I am embarking on a 30 day yoga challenge thanks to my friend Bobbi who has inspired me by doing the same. I've noticed a decline in my yoga practice that has been creeping in since my Monday yoga class was canceled. I used to start the week at that class with 1.5 hrs of yoga, then do 40 mins every Tues and Thursday morning and another hour on Sunday.

I've maintained Tues and Thurs mornings, but have been challenged lately in keeping my Sunday and Monday commitment.

So...here's my plan for the 30 day challenge.

In an effort to support my desire for regular evening meditation I commit to a 20-30 min yoga and at least 10 minute meditation every evening except for Saturday. In addition to this I will do 40 mins to 1hr of yoga in the morning on Tues/Thurs/Sunday (Mondays if I'm not working).

Today I bought myself a Seane Corn DVD to give some variety to my morning yoga, and the Yoga Deck for evening yoga inspiration. The Seane Corn program is a bit of an effort to shake things up as it is a Vinyasa Yoga program and I tend to like the Iyengar style more. But I think once or twice a week I can give the flow yoga a shot.

Tomorrow, I start.

Namaste.

eating animals

2011-02-24T07:29:00.005-06:00

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
Barbara Kingsolver

I have this book and still haven't read it. I'm a huge fan of Barbara's Kingsolver's fiction, and I respect that she and her family have taken this journey of growing much of their own food - even raising their own animals for meat. The reason I haven't yet read this book because I got a little miffed at Ms. Kingsolver when I caught a radio interview with her a while back where she made comments to about how she dealt with the harshness of butchering her animals. She said she came to a realization that it was the turkey's 'fate' to be her dinner, and that it was 'fulfilling it's destiny' by ending up on her table. Somehow that didn't sit right with me.

I think there is a lot to unpack in Ms. Kingsolver's statement. Now, I realize there is a little something called the Circle of Life and it is natural that many species survive by eating other species. The life of the turkey to feed a family of humans, or the life of an antelope to feed a family of cheetahs isn't a tragedy (although the turkey and the antelope may disagree), or a crime against nature. I think what didn't sit right with me in her comments is what I perceive as a sense of human entitlement that extends beyond the predator/prey relationship.

Possibly ending up as someone else's dinner is a fact of life for most species on the planet. But, it isn't the *only * possible life. Species engaged in the predator/prey relationship support one another in keeping populations in a delicate balance. But humans who keep animals for food and then claim it is okay to do so because it is the animal's destiny are simply justifying to themselves that it is okay they are not only taking a life to sustain their own, but that they are also engaging in exploitation. It is okay because they are entitled, they are human.

I will give the book a read soon, and hopefully gain more insight into Ms. Kingsolver thoughts on the subject.

Permaculture and raising animals for meat has been on my mind more so lately because I have a couple of good friends who are engaged in it. My friend Rhonda reflects about raising rabbits for food in her blog Vital Connection, and my friend Carmen who has moved out to an acreage is now raising sheep and goats. I've always said that my issue with meat, my moral stand is not so much in the killing and eating of animals - as long as the killing is done as humanely as possible. But rather I am concerned about the lives the animals lead before there are killed for their meat. And I stand by that. The inhumanity of factory farming speaks volumes to me about mankind's disconnection from spirit and is reflected in how we treat the earth and each other.

Although it isn't the path for me. I respect what Rhonda and Carmen are doing. If you are going to be a meat eater, I think you should really understand what meat is, and where it comes from. Rather than a sense of entitlement, I think recognition that you are a part of a sacred balance and your place in the Circle. You should be able to look an animal in the eye and offer your respect and thanks for the sacrifice.

Then the world might begin to heal.

the greatest love of all...

2011-02-23T07:25:00.004-06:00

I know...cheesy title. I must confess at one point back in the day I did have some of Ms. Houston's music in my possession. But cheesiness aside, there is a powerful message in that song.
Truly, one of the gifts of getting older for me has been an ever-growing sense of self acceptance. Oh sure, I still have my neurotic, doubt-filled moments, and as only my husband is ever witness to, and they can be epic. But they are becoming fewer and farther between, and have less power to keep me mired in the self doubt .
This poem that I found on The Pursuit of Harpyness speaks to me about this new relationship I am forging with myself - one that is appreciative, loving and easy.
*****************
Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott

Glee goes Large

2011-02-12T08:08:00.006-06:00

I haven't been following Glee this season, the glee-madness seemingly purged from my body. Glee is kind of like a sugary dessert. Really yummy and a lot of fun, but one can only handle so much before getting head-achy and grumpy. However in my surfing this morning I found this post that inspired me to find the latest episode online and watch it.

Turns out, there have been some interesting developments while I have been away. Like somehow Kurt is at some kind of all-boy prep school! Wow...how did that happen?! But what has really grabbed my attention is the addition of another large-size character. Enter Lauren Zizes, a totally confident, bad-ass fat chick who becomes the object of Puck's affection. Lauren Zizes is played by Ashley Fink, one of the actors who lost their job when Huge was sadly not picked up for a second season.

There is much to like and celebrate about this turn of events on Glee. It is undeniable that seeing size diversity on TV is a leverage point in the fight for size acceptance in real life. I love seeing a confident fat girl on TV who is tough, smart and not in the least desperate. Zizes is not about to give it up for Puck just because he gives her the honour of having some interest in her. She seems to know herself and has well developed boundaries. It is refreshing to see how the other characters relate to her as so often on television fat women are solely used for comic relief and never allowed to be seen as real, complex people...let alone sexual beings.

So, like Lesley Kinzel I hope this trend continues and that Lauren is allowed to keep her dignity and total awesomeness on the show. And while we are at it, how about some romance for the other larger character on the show, Miss Mercedes the Diva?

Health and Virtue....

2011-01-29T09:34:00.003-06:00

"Health is not a virtue. It’s a privilege (and one the disabled don’t have). Fuck that. You don’t have to be healthy. You don’t owe it to anyone. Why do we so often value “taking care of yourself” over qualities like patience, honesty and kindness? Self-care is great, but it’s not a measure of your worth. Working out and eating “right” do NOT make you a better person. And what you or I do with our bodies is nobody’s business, anyway."

Provocative, isn't it? Here is where I lifted it from. I have been curious of the morphing of the pursuit 'health' into a moralistic virtue for sometime. We've become very quick to turn on people who do things that are deemed 'unhealthy'. When did we decide to get up all up in each others business with our health? When did it become a tool for feeling superior to others? For making judgments?

I don't know the answer. I admit I fall into this trap in my embracing of Health at Every Size. Perhaps if I ready to really be a revolutionary I might just simply say 'my body size ain't none of your business..end of story'.

But I have a need to let people know that I take care of myself....I work out every day! I eat a healthy diet! I rarely drink coffee! I may be a fat person, but I am a 'good' fat person! So, please excuse my being fat!!

Yet - health is important to me..because I want to enjoy my life. The actions I am taking are helping me to do that. I just think it is important that I don't take what I am doing for my life and health and try to lay it on others. And that is especially hard for me when I hear about people focussing on weight loss for their health. Hearing about my friend's diet plans makes me cringe. But I must remember that just because body acceptance and Health at Every Size is a path that works for me, doesn't mean it works for everyone. Just like I would *prefer* it if the whole world decided to be vegetarian like me.... it just ain't gonna happen.

Letter to the CBC - Country on a Diet

2011-01-10T09:24:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I was pleased to see this article on CBC. It is so great to hear a doctor saying things like:

"The minute you go on a diet, the minute you start losing weight the first thing that happens is your body says, 'OK we're going to shut down the furnace, there's not enough fuel coming in, we're not going to be shifting to fourth gear anymore,"

Basically dieting doesn't work. And some extra pounds may not be the automatic death sentence that everyone seems to have blindly accepted these days.

So - I was feeling pretty good. Until this morning, when I saw this:

A whole town on a diet together. O. M. G. This is wrong on so many levels. The presumption/acceptance that *everyone* in this town needs to lose weight...including the children!

Then it turns out, CBC is charting our pound loss across the country. I cannot express how upsetting this is to me. This morning I've channeld Grandpa Simpson and have written CBC a snarky note

Dear CBC:

I am very distressed to see the CBC promoting dieting and weight loss as a path to health. The more I read about the connection (or lack of) between health and weight the more I see that our nation's obsession with losing pounds does us all great disservice. It keeps us distracted from what really impacts health - physical activity and eating healthy food. It is very possible to be clinically overweight and be healthy, just as it is very possible to be thin and be unhealthy. Except on the extreme ends of fatness and thinness, weight is not a reliable indicator of health.

The thing is, making the positive changes of increased physical activity and eating healthier foods *may* lead to weight loss, but in many cases they do not. And when people do not lose weight (or the amount they think they should), they become discouraged and give up the healthy behaviours they've adopted. Often, if they have severely restricted their food intake they 'fall off the wagon' and binge on the foods they have been avoiding because they thought of them as 'bad' and 'off limits'. So often, this leads to weight gain - even more distressing for the person, they end up weighing more than when they started. So they start again. We are all familiar with the term yo-yo dieting. It is very hard on the body. Yo-yo dieting is way more dangerous than any extra poundage we may carry.

The dangers of dieting are many and well documented. Dieting is not a road to health….it is a road to developing eating disorders. Diets teach us to rely on outside information to regulate food intake and in the process we lose our ability to discern for ourselves when we are hungry and when we are full. This is what we need to regain.

I truly feel for people to make lasting changes in their lifestyle we need to work at taking weight loss out of the equation! I am a strong proponent of the Health at Every Size approach to heath….here is a snapshot:

********************
Health at Every Size is based on the simple premise that the best way to improve health is to honor your body. It supports people in adopting health habits for the sake of health and well-being (rather than weight control).

Health at Every Size encourages:
* Accepting and respecting the natural diversity of body sizes and shapes.
* Eating in a flexible manner that values pleasure and honors internal cues of hunger, satiety, and appetite.
* Finding the joy in moving one’s body and becoming more physically vital.

http://haescommunity.org/
********************

It was bad enough to see a whole town on a diet together - but you would have the whole country on a diet! What is really upsetting is that your site implies that we *all* need to loose weight...that it is simply a fact of life. You are promoting and normalizing a diet culture!

I have created an account on this "Live Right" site and plan to promote Health at Every Size. Yes..let's promote getting active! Let's promote eating healthy food! But we must stop the focus on whether the pounds go up or down! There are other ways to chart success, ones that don't do psychological and physical damage.

Sydney Bell
Saskatoon, SK

PS, I am not a crank!

newest family member

2010-12-18T10:24:00.000-06:00

My niece had a baby girl. Her name is Hannah.

cute doggie pics

2010-12-18T10:21:00.001-06:00

The result of forgetting to tell the groomer 'no bows'.

scenes from work today

2010-12-16T19:00:00.004-06:00

Every year for the past few years the staff of KidsFirst (the program I work for within the Saskatoon Health Region) comes together and assembles gift bags for the families that are part of the program. So, that's what I was doing this morning. In each of the bags are supplies for a fun Christmas breakfast - pancake mix and other things. The 2nd photo is our pancake mix assembly line.

Some of the women in the program took part in a baking program, where they made all kinds of Christmas treats - the last photo is their handiwork that they also had delivered today.

...it was fun helping to put all this together this morning.

some thoughts on marriage and feminism

2010-08-28T10:27:00.004-06:00

I posted this article on the use of the prefix Ms on my facebook page this morning, commenting on my own preferred use of Ms. when addressing myself. It got me to thinking on how do we (in an age of feminism and emerging equality), make the decisions that are tied up with tieing the knot. I haven't come up with a lot of answers, but rather a meandering reflection on some of the decision I've made and some of the folks around me. As I am a straight, white, almost middle class (and almost middle-aged) female, my musings are definitely through that lens.

As I was posting on facebook about my preference for the term Ms, I reflected on my choice after six years of marriage to discontinue using my husband's last name and go back to using my birth name. Taking my husband's name wasn't one I took lightly. I remember being quite upset because I felt like I wasn't a very good feminist for changing my name. At the the time we planned to have children in our marriage. Neither one of us was into hyphenated names, and Jon certainly wasn't interested in changing his last name to mine. We flirted a bit with the idea of choosing a completely new last name together, but never seriously pursued that. So, because it seemed important (to me) to have family togetherness I started using Ellis as my last name.

It never felt right to me. I would introduce myself and it would seem like I was introducing a stranger. And being referred to as Mrs. Ellis was always a strange, surreal experience, and not one to my liking. I began to want to change my name back, but again the plan for children put a wrench in it - if Jon and I have different last names, which one does the child get? Then we hit up on a brilliant idea...we would leave it up to the fates. If we had a boy-child he would get my last name, and if we had a girl-child she would get Jon's last name. A very fair way to decide, in my opinion. Immediately I changed my ID back and became a Bell once again.

I share story this because it is one example in our marriage where Jon and I broke a little bit from tradition, treading the minefield that is the loaded question of who takes whose name. But there are many other decisions and traditional patterns that we followed and I am curious about them. Getting married at all is one of them. Jon and I didn't really need to have the ceremony and the piece of paper to be together and be happy. Yet, we both wanted to have the party with our family and to have the legal status. It felt like an honouring of what we felt for each other, and a statement to the world of 'this is who we are, we are choosing to be with each other for the duration of this life'. I'm glad we did, and wouldn't change getting married for anything. But I cannot deny that a big part of the desire to be married is I'm sure response to years of societal programming. And today I am more aware of privilege tied up in getting married and look forward to a time (soon, I hope) when marriage become available to all who desire it, gay or straight.

Different people have different values, and it is interesting how they are reflected in the choices they make in getting married. I have friends who have very progressive political views and when they got married the male partner assumed the female partner's name which I think is great. It certainly forces us to look more deeply at our deeply held assumptions of gender roles. The challenges they faced with changing ID's and names on credit cards was interesting for sure. A very different situation from when a woman assumes a man's name in marriage. However, these same gender-busting folks had some very traditional things happen in their path to marriage, such as the woman partner receiving an engagement ring and a proposal from the man. Again, my curiosity is piqued at how we make these decisions.

In looking at my own marriage, just yesterday I picked up the new wedding bands Jon and I recently bought. For many years we have been looking for rings to replace the lost original wedding band from when we got married. We have explored lots of different, funky designs and have gone many years without having proper matching wedding rings. Lately this has been niggling at me, and we decided to just get simple white gold bands. It seemed important to me that they look like wedding rings. Something simple with weight and significance. Now, after almost 18 years of marriage we again have matching wedding bands, and it makes me happy. Is it a possession thing? Making certain that the other females out there know that this is *my* man? I don't think so. I just like having this symbol of our marriage on my hand, a constant homage to one of the best things in my life.

I still haven't gotten any closer to the question of how do we make these decisions? But I do want to say, I don't think any one of these decisions makes you a 'bad feminist', but as feminists we do need to be at least conscious of the possible implications of for example taking a name, or not taking a name. Getting legally married or not. Perhaps refusing to get married as a political act. Be willing and ask ourselves 'why is it important for me to have a matching wedding band with my husband?' And the bigger questions of 'why is the burden of deciding on a name change (or the burden of choosing between career and children for that matter) on women?

I'm not one for following a tradition just because we always have - especially traditions that continue the oppression of women. However, I'm not one to throw out all traditions just because they are traditions. As our society evolves and morals around marriage and partnership change, I hope we will be trying on what traditions work for us and weeding out those that no longer serve.

It is a messy business and one that forces us to look at our assumptions, but I think if we go forward with eyes and hearts open, we will be okay.

Women Food and God, by Geneen Roth

2010-07-01T08:26:00.003-06:00

I picked up this book spontaneously a couple of days ago. I hadn't really intended to read it - not sure why. I've avoided Geneen Roth - I think it's because she isn't really embraced by the Health at Every Size and Fat Acceptance moments. And now I think I have a better understanding of why (more on that later).

Up front I will say I enjoyed reading this book - Geneen has an engaging, conversational style. In fact, I also have Suzie Orbach's book 'Bodies' on hand, borrowed from the library and I'm having a much harder time slogging my way through it - Ms. Orbach writes in a more academic (boring) style. But more on 'Bodies' in an upcoming post - here lets focus on Ms. Roth's latest contribution to ending overeating.

There some good insight in this book, and I am glad I bought it because there is much I will go back to and use for some inner work. I especially resonated with the chapter titled "Never Underestimate the Inclination to Bolt". Ms. Roth looks at ways emotional (over)eating as a tool to escape from the things in life we are afraid of. I've certainly used food that way, and can relate to the urge to bolt. I often have the feeling of being trapped wash over me when things don't go as I expect them. At work meetings, when whoever is running the show wants to suddenly mix the groups up and force us to connect with other people (dang!)...I often have this little flutter in my stomach and have to convince myself to stay. Or I show up a yoga class and the regular teacher is away and we have a substitute...often my very first gut reaction is *flee*.

I do manage to work through these things most of the time and even enjoy the meeting or the yoga class....but there is much there for me to look at. To explore this a bit further, I think the progress I've made over the past few years is in recognizing this initial urge to flee, and sitting with it for a bit, exploring it instead of panicking and making quick decisions. Usually the feeling passes and I am able to enjoy the new and unexpected opportunity that has opened up before me. Or, if my guts are still telling me to leave, I will honour them and remove myself from the situation.

In "Women Food and God" Ms. Roth does a really good job of outlining how working on your troubled relationship with food (if you have one) can be a tool, a doorway to addressing larger issues in your life, and even a path to connecting with the sacred. In fact the notion that eating problems are actually rarely about *food* but rather other, unaddressed issues in your life is reinforced here. Another really good book that explores this premise is "Eating in the Light of the Moon".

I also appreciated Ms. Roth's anti-diet stance. She acknowledges the pitfalls, ineffectiveness and psychological damage that diets can do, and explores why we embrace them despite knowing that we will still be dealing with the pain of our lives if we become that magic jean size. She states "The promise of weight loss is that it will allow us to live on a magical piece of earth from which everything else will be manageable" Even though we know crap will still happen when we are thinner, we think we will be able to deal with it better because we are...well thinner! "Diets are based on the unspoken fear that you are a madwoman, a food terrorist, a lunatic. Eventually you will destroy all that you love and so you need to be stopped. The promise of a diet is not only that you will have a different body, but that you will have a different life." Preach it, Sister!

There is a lot I can get on board with here. But not completely. Despite all the positive messaging about not waiting until you are a certain size to face your demons and learning to embrace and enjoy your life right now, at whatever size you are, there is a recurring theme that if/when you abandon the diet roller coaster and learn to tune into your bodies hunger/full signals and nutritional requirements you *will* loose weight. She actually makes that promise. Suddenly the 'guidelines for eating' she espouses ironically take on a diet tone. 'If I only eat when I am hungry, while sitting at the table with no distractions *then* I will loose weight!' I can't help but wonder has she simply constructed the anti-diet, diet? I think perhaps a little bit.

It is a subtle but important shift from the message I've understood from Health At Every Size and Intuitive Eating literature. There you will find the same messaging against dieting, encouragement to find ways to move your body that you enjoy and pursue healthful, pleasurable eating while being responsive to huger and fullness. However it is acknowledged that you might do all these things and *still* be fat...at least by that blasted BMI measure. And that's okay. Because: 1) weight is not an accurate indicator of health and 2) we do not need to buy the brand of beauty the weight-loss and beauty industry is selling us. Remember - fat is a feminist issue and there is a lot of female oppression tied up in keeping us panting after being thinner and money to be made by bringing us back to paying for diets that don't work.

Final thoughts? I think this is a book worth reading if emotional overeating is something you are struggling with because there are lots of insight and supportive tools to help you with that Just be clear what your goals are. Health? Or changing your body? Our natural weights are a bit of a mystery and I just wish we could give up our preconceived notions of what that might be.

a trip to bountiful

2010-06-27T17:42:00.004-06:00

We three....me, the dog, the husband go for weekly walks in the country. Mostly out to a nature preserve called Cranberry Flats. It is a wonderful area with gently rolling prairie,river valley and the Saskatchewan River flowing through. We've become quite committed to these walks and seem to only be stopped by the more colder winter days. And its good for us.. and Merdoc *loves* it out there. She runs...no *frolics* through the wild grasses, bounding like a rabbit with a big-assed grin on her face.

Today it was especially wonderful as the land had burst forth with colour and life. All this rain we've had I think has accelerated the growth of the prairie grasses...and everything is just so GREEN...almost could be somewhere in the UK. Well, maybe not, but a lot greener than we usually have here. There were flowers everywhere. I cannot explain how much I like these little bits of colour on the prairie and how they speak to me. Little batches of colour asserting themselves, saying 'lookit ME'. Andmost wondrous of all were the prairie lilies. I wish, wish, wish I had my camera with me. We will just have to make do with a snap I've stolen:

For an endangered flower it was amazing to see them everywhere. I remember learning as a young girl that they were NOT to be picked. The bright orange of the petals was gorgeous dappled along the dark, green grass.

It was just a good morning - I felt at one with the land and a deep connection to this place that as flawed as it can be, is my home. I could not help enjoying the wanton display of burgeoning life and the felt awe to be amidst the goddess showing off her most beautiful self.

It's just WORDS...

2010-06-20T09:40:00.007-06:00

This is what the headliner comedian kept viciously yelling at us, the audience last night as we didn't laugh at his commentary attacking aboriginal people, african american people and women. If we get upset at these words he says, we must be thin-skinned indeed and are a living case against Darwin's theory of the survival of the fittest. yeah...whatever.

I often joke that I am a humourless feminist....perhaps falling into the trap of much maligned political correctness. But I think it would be unfair to paint me as someone who never sees humour in a situation, or understand the value of comedy as shock value to bring our own ignorance out into sharp relief and force us to look at ourselves. Like The Simpsons does..... or Archie Bunker did. Bunker was a bigot, and we laughed at what he said. But it seemed very clear to me that as we laughed we were forced to look into ourselves and acknowledge that there was something *wrong* with this picture...we don't want to be Archie Bunker, do we? That irony was missing from much of what I heard last night. And I found myself going to bed very angry.

This comedy stand up show was billed as "The Very Dirty Show" (part of a Comedy Festival here in Saskatoon), so I was prepared for lots of lewd humour that might not be my taste. And I was right....but for the most part I was able to mostly laugh and just shrug off some of the more gross commentary (a surprising amount of potty humour). I found myself wishing for at least one female comic so I could relate a bit more to the raunchy humour....and perhaps a break from the endless jokes about blowjobs.

Amongst some not-bad humour (I did manage to have *some* fun - check out Tommy Savitt if you have the chance) there was the awful final act I refer to at the beginning of the post, a Saskatoon fellow named Dez Reed (boo-urns!!!). I'm not going to go into the specifics of what he said. It was vile. The act that bothered me the most, that I am trying to wrap my brain around was another Saskatoon fellow named Jim Fuchs. I struggle more with this guy because unlike Dez Reed, Jim was funny. He has great timing, is kind of charming and off-beat. But there were two things that bothered me about his act.

1) Jim is aboriginal. He says he is an "apple" - an aboriginal guy who was raised by white folks...red on the outside and white on the inside. He had some interesting commentary on what it is like to reconnect with his aboriginal family as an adult. And he definitely had the skill of gently poking fun at himself and his people that I encounter in many aboriginal folks....for the most part. Many times his humour pushed beyond the gentle fun-poking to perpetuating negative stereo-types of aboriginal people I couldn't help thinking there was much internalized colonization reflected in his bit. The clear message is: since he is aboriginal himself, it is OK for him to be making these comments. Perhaps it is. And I think he was attempting to use himself as a mirror to reflect back to us our own ignorance. But I dunno.. I didn't get that vibe for a lot of his set. It just seemed to me that because the dude is aboriginal it is suddenly it was OK for all us white folks in the audience to be laughing our heads off at jokes about how *lazy* aboriginal people are, or how aboriginal people are all Listerine abusers.

I dunno...I'm still working this part out in my head...and exploring if perhaps there is just a stick up my butt that I need to pull out? Or is it just my white privilege guilt rearing its head?

2) the second thing that bothered me hit very close to home, because the attack was on me. Jim Fuchs did this bit about having sex with a fat woman. In essence his story was about those times when you get extremely shit-faced and do things you regret. And his example of how far you can be lead astray while inebriated was the time he hooked up with a fat chick (yuck, right?) He artfully reflected the repulsion he felt upon sobering up and realizing he had got down and dirty with a fat chick..."how fucking gross is that???". And the audience *howled*...like yeah...OMG...that is the grossest thing ever.

Great...thanks a fucking lot. But, you know...it's just WORDS. No need to be upset. I will just need to develop a thicker skin. As long as it doesn't make me look fatter.

a bit of a shopping snark

2010-06-14T09:02:00.003-06:00

I don't think I've been as ourspoken about anything in my life as I have become around body acceptance and Health At Every Size. I feel like this is something I could become evangelical about. Who am I kidding...I *have* become evangelical about it. How can I convince the world that a) focus on weight loss almost always fails and often makes us fatter because b) diets don't work and c) the world would be a much better place if we focussed on eating well, being active and letting our bodies be the size they want to be.

I am vocal too because I am angry. Angry at what I see as the oppresion of women that is tied up in the societal crusade that everyone should be thin (or the code word for thin, "healthy"). I don't believe we have continue paying this price of body hatred for the equality we have gained as women. We are entitled to be here and to take up space. So, I am finding myself speaking up about these issues more and more. I'm sure more than one of my FB friends rolls their eyes when I post another link or update about body acceptance. Yet...just when I think I should back-off a bit, somone sends me a note or makes a comment how much they appreciate the work I am doing. What I'm thinking is that the people who don't like it don't have to read it. Or unfriend me.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why it is important to me that more stores start carrying a full line of clothing sizes...and this is what I have come up with:

I was shopping with my mother the other day for workout shorts to play volleyball in. I hadn't found anything in the 'large lady' stores, so wanted to check out the mall. In terms of size I'm what's called an 'in-betweenie' or something like that. At this point I do fit clothes in some of the 'regular' size stores. At least ones that carry a 16 or 18. We went into Athletes World...and at first glance I had a feeling it would be a strike out, but instead of slinking away I asked the fellow who worked there what the size range was. I didn't hold out much hope for a size 16 but was rather blown away when he said they carried up to a size 10. Yikes! Size 10 is the *largest???* I couldn't help myself...I expressed my dissapointment to him. 'That is too bad, because women over size 10 like to play sports and exercise and have money to spend'...he looked at me blankly... 'Don't you realize that size 14 is average?? You are missing a *lot* of business'....He rather goggled at me at that point and stammered 'we just don't get requests for larger sizes'...and that sent me off on 'well that's because we larger folks have been too intimidated to come in here' or something like that. I then parted with my mom and soon after found a UofS sport clothing supply store that easily had my size and was able to find the sport shorts I had been looking for.

Why is this so important? Why shouldn't we be just happy to shop at Penningtons and Addition-Elle and shut up about it? I mean they do carry nice clothes and happily have younger and hipper lines of clothing so we don't have to look like we buy all our clothes at Sears. Sure, yah - that's great. I rememeber when I finally just acknowledged that those were the stores I had to shop in, and it was a relief to go there and know they would have my size.

But why should I be happy with 2 or 3 stores (which carry almost the same lines of clothes) to shop in, when everyone else has whole malls full of stores to choose from? How fun is it to shop with my friends when I have to wait until we hit the 1 store in the mall where I can by clothes? Okay - perhaps I'm not actually much of a mall -rat so that doesn't impact me as much...but I *might* want to go shopping with my friends...and I know there are a lot of larger size women who do.

To be regulated to shopping at specialized stores becomes yet another reminder that 'you don't fit in' and 'there is something wrong with you'. So, I will continue to speak out at stores about what sizes they carry. When the sizes stop 2 full sizes below average, something is wrong and needs fixing.

I think I will follow up with a letter to Atheletes World.

Jordan's Principle

2010-06-05T13:39:00.002-06:00

Watch this video and reflect how you feel about health care services in this country. The woman in the video is Cindy Blackstock, who I had the privilege to hear speak at the Saskatchewan Association of Social Work conference in May. She told us this story of Jordan, and it ripped my heart out of my chest and dashed it on the floor.

Cindy works for the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada and they are taking our federal government to court in hopes that the tragedy that befell Jordan doesn't happen again. Check out this website to learn more and offer your support.

I was pleased to hear that Ms. Blackstock has been honoured Canadian Social Worker of the year. She is definitely someone I look up to and hope her work will inspire me to push for equity and justice for all.

Making Carrot Soup

2010-05-30T21:02:00.010-06:00

As I posted on my FB page we have an over-abundance of carrots in the house because I apparently went a little overboard in the produce department the other day. Carrot soup seemed a good idea. I found a recipe in my new cookbook:

Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone (quite a good cookbook...the pizza crust recipe I made from it last night was great!)

...however, it called for red pepper and I used up my red pepper in last night's pizza. I didn't feel like going to the store, so, I checked out some recipes online and I found one that called to me. Of course, it actually called for ginger which we did not have, and I'm off to the store anyhow.

I decided to take some photos of my cooking adventures...Jon thought I was being weird, but whatever.

hmmm....carrots....

Ginger makes it good...

lovely carrots, potatoes and onions sautéing..

Jon made biscuits! Soup is ever so much better with biscuits!

And here it is...it turned out very well, if I do say so myself! I will make this again, very simple. Here is the link to the recipe if you want to try it yourself.

(not the most beautiful bowl to show off soup in...)

We still have lots of carrots, so next I'm going to try this recipe "Spicy Carrot Peanut Soup" from a nifty box set of recipes I forgot I had.

Don't leave your glass unattended...

2010-05-30T20:56:00.006-06:00

Dexter is very particular about keeping his toes clean....

Mourning those who never were...

2010-05-10T09:17:00.003-06:00

I found myself sad this Mothers Day - sad that I am not a mom. I'm not sure why - I have made it through other Mother's Day without hardly a thought. But this year a doubt and a niggle whispered in my brain and I feel some regret. Partly the mass of children at the family lunch we had yesterday -especially my niece's daughter, still a baby sitting so nice on my knee and goggling up at me. But I think this bit of sadness started last week at work meeting. We were asked to do an excerise where we shared with others that which we are most proud of in our lives. Every single person in that room offered up their children and family as their proudest achievement. It overwhelmed me that I had nothing that compares to the magnitude of raising a child to offer to the world. At least that's how I felt in the moment.

Actually maybe this sadness started a few weeks ago when I started taken Vitex (an herb) on the advice of my doctor to help regulate my periods, hopefully decreasing the intense pain and discomfort I feel. The Vitex is supposed to promote the production of progesterone. When I did some reading online about low progesterone it didn't surprise me that lack of progesterone can lead to things like weight gain, anxiety and infertility...things I have dealt with for a long time. I couldn't help thinking 'what if I knew this when i was 30?...If I had taken steps to correct this lack of progesterone, I might have been able to get pregnant'.

Jon and I started trying to have a baby when I was 30 and had no luck. We started the adoption process a couple years later and when that started to look like it actually could happen we did a lot of soul searching and decided we didn't want to pursue being parents. Jon would get a vasectomy, and that would be it. It was such a relief to let go of the constant looking forward, wondering, sadness when I got my period. And when Jon said we could simply embrace our marriage and spend our time together tending to that, i think I fell in love with him all over again.

It was a good decision for us then, and I think is the right path for us now. I have much to be proud of in my life, the least of which is a solid almost 18 year marriage to my best friend and love, good family and friends.

But I think it is okay once in while to mourn the little soul/s who did not manifest as children in our family...the dreamed of Katherine Elizabeth (Kate) Ellis and/or Logan Bell.

And that is what I am doing today...

a piece I am working on...

2010-04-26T09:55:00.003-06:00

Body Image and Personal Growth

I believe there is a direct link between the challenges we face achieving women’s equality and the increasingly unattainable beauty expectations women face in our society.The more independence and freedom we gain, the more the idea of beauty constricts. To be beautiful you must be increasingly younger, whiter and thinner.

Why? What does this accomplish? I believe narrowing the beauty ideal so that is unattainable to most women keeps us from tapping into our full potential as people and from into emerging into our sovereign selves, thus keeping the current patriarchy power structure secured in our society.

I meet so many accomplished and intelligent women who have broken free of many of the chains of oppression. Women are breaking free of the myth that we *must* be domestic, passive or motherly. And at the same time we are reclaiming these traits, qualities that have been seen as lesser because they have been feminized, equated with women. Yet…despite all this wonderful forward movement we still willingly buy into the hype that to be successful as women we must fit a certain physical mold.

The shape of our bodies and how we feel about them is pivotal in moving toward personal growth and freedom from oppression. But we are trapped because we have blindly accepted two notions as fact. The first being that we have control over how our bodies look. If we just eat the right things, or work out enough we can look how we wish to. Sure, we can have some impact on our body shape this way, but for the most part our body is really a product of our genetics.

The second notion we have accepted without question is that weight is an indicator of health. Except for extreme cases on either end of the scale this is simply not true. And the numbers of us who are in those danger zones are not even close to reaching the epidemic proportions all the press on the ‘Obesity Epidemic’ would have us believe. Did you know one factor in the much reported increase in obesity in our society is simply a result of a change by the World Health Organization to the number on the BMI indicator scale for obesity. Though their weight had not changed, hundreds of thousands of people woke up one morning and were magically now ‘obese’….and told to be very afriad.

Since we our feet are being held to the fire all in the name of better health, then the question becomes what is a indicator of good health? Research has shown that activity level (irregardless of the size of the person) is consistent indicator of good health outcomes. Unlike body weight.

This is important because many people engage in physical activity with the goal to loose weight high among their priorities. The pressure to loose weight creates/feeds into body anxiety. When we have weight loss as a goal that motivates our exercise and eating habits it is very easy to get discouraged when the weight doesn’t come off as fast as we would like. This can lead to reduced self-esteem, depression. At some point we cannot help but rebel against all the rules and restrictions we have created around eating and moving and we ‘fall off the wagon’ of whatever plan we are on, often regaining whatever weight we may have lost, if not more. Often weight cycling begins, which study after study has shown is much worse for our health than being overweight. More disturbing is the very real possibility of developing eating disorders because of an unhealthy relationship with food. We loose our ability to self-regulate food intake and become more and more reliant on outside sources telling how much of what to put in our bodies.

What does this have to do with women's equality? Keeping women freaked out about their dress size is a pretty effective way of distracting them from larger issues like politics and gender issues. I wonder what would happen if we put half the energy and thought into our personal growth and development and the world around us that we put into formulating plans to become a particular body size? All the diet talk we engage in distracts us from having real conversations with each other. It is much easier to think about the next diet we plan to go on rather than taking the time to peer inward and face our shadow and see what is really going on. The poundage on our bodies that we don’t like becomes and easy explanation for why we are so unhappy.

If we are able to let go of our expectations to be a certain size and aimed to embrace physical activity simply for the benefits to our physical and mental health, I think more people could successfully integrate physical movement into their daily lives. If you are taking care of yourself, eating healthy food and moving your body, there could be some weight loss, but how much is hard to say. We are all so out of touch with our bodies we have no idea what our natural weights are supposed to be (the BMI is *not* a reliable guideline!).

More importantly, weight loss does not equal automatic happiness and good mental health. What it comes down to is, if you loose some weight, you will still be you, and whatever emotional problems you had at a higher weight will still be there, no matter what the scale says.

So what to do? I think we need to find ways to accept ourselves as we are today…right now! No matter what size we are. Let’s not wait until we are a ‘worthy’ size before taking care of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally. That way, no matter where they fat may fall, if the scale goes up or if it goes down, the core of who we are remains solid and strong.

And no one can keep us down!

Check out this giveaway from Istanbul Designs!

2010-01-31T09:58:00.002-06:00

Alicia Istanbul is a wonderful craftswoman who makes beautiful jewelery. Check out her blog for a great giveaway contest she is running.

New Year Plan? Stay the course...

2010-01-02T13:34:00.005-06:00

Jon and I have been sick with a nasty cold the last couple of days. It has been a good opportunity to reflect on last year and think what I want from this year.

Last year was a tough one for me. I was dealing with intense heartburn and anxiety, which I am sure has been exacerbated by a wacky thyroid. In the beginning of the year I was taking prescription meds for all three conditions. I feel liked I reached the heigth of stress and tension that had been building up in me. I felt like I was a spring that had been slowly tightening and tightening. Last year marked the beginning of the uncoiling of the spring.

I've tried lots of different treatments over the past year and a bit. I've done colon therapy (yikes!), acupuncture, massage, counselling, yoga, exercise, supplements. I think they were all beneficial, but in the end I think I've found a good balance with yoga, cardio and the occasional massage. The two things I focus on is my anxiety level and my digestion...so, I take care of myself by doing things to help me feel mentally at ease, and digest my food.

Positive change really started for me at the beggining of this year when I was developing my yoga practice. After a few private sessions with Lia, my yoga guru, I decided to join a weekly class. What a bonus that has been to my life and my body. Yoga helps me to keep centered, keeps me flexible and is building muscle. I've learned much about how my body works, and can feel lots of potential just waiting for me to tap into it. I noticed this December that my shoulders feel lower...they seem to have dropped into place. My goal this year with yoga is to continue with the weekly class, work at home on the challenging series of poses Lia laid out for me that help with acidity (indigestion)...and to be able to do a shoulder stand without the aid of a wall. That would be so cool.

This past fall I was gently challenged by one of the folks in the body image support group that I faciliate to get back on my cardio machine. Another strong motivator for me to make sure I was getting regular cardio was the fact that every book I read on anxiety stated that doing regular cardio exercise was extremely beneficial in reducing stress and anxiety. And they didn't lie. I do 30 minutes of cardio at least three times a week, plus walking the dog regularly and I haven't taken anxiety medication since I started.

There was sadness this past year. My very sweet and loving brother in law passed away in March. Doug was someone I always got along with. His warmth and humour were a big part of me feeling accepted into Jon's family, right from the start. My heart aches for his wife, children and grandchildren. They miss him a lot...we all do. I am glad I have connected with family this Christmas I haven't seen in awhile...life is short.

I have been lucky enough to be on two spiritual retreats this year. I follow and Avalonian pather and these gatherings were so helpful to me in exploring the path of the goddess and deepening my spirituality. I have made many wonderful connections with other women walking that same path, and I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunities and experiences I have with the Sisterhood of Avalon this year.

Jon and I celebrated our 17th anniversary this year...which is just unbelievable to me. Can I be that old? I guess I can! I could not ask for a better friend, partner and love. It's not always roses and sunshine, but it is pretty damn good. I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to have made such a good match. Jon has been very supportive of everything I have done this past year, listening to my sometimes mad ranting..all while working on his school work. This next year we hope to get away together more.

So, what does 2010 hold? More of the same...more yoga, more body acceptance work, more eating good food. I am hoping to cook a little more, and not rely on pre-made soups so much. Perhaps a cooking class. I plan to keep up the workout on my elliptical machine, and add in some WiiFit workouts and hopefully volleyball this summer.

I am also taking an acting class this year. Aieee! It has been a very long time since I have done anything like that! The last play I was in was called "LadyHouse Blues" with the North Vancouver Community Players, way back in 1990, or thereabouts. Yikes. I auditioned for a play when we moved back to Saskatoon, but when I didn't get cast, I never tried again. Hating my body was a big part of that. I'm looking forward to spreading my acting wings again.

Hopefully more reflection here as well. I have plans to more fully explore my creative side. Playing guitar, accordion, singing. And writing.

Stay the course is the message I got a lot last year,so stay the course I will.

OK, i've lost some weight...but honest, I haven't been trying!

2009-12-06T10:08:00.002-06:00

I don't like to focus on weight loss as a goal… but, I couldn't help but be amazed and pleased to learn at my physical I am down 30 pounds from my last one. I'm happy about that - which is a loaded thing for me to admit since I am all about body acceptance. What is interesting though is I know I am healthier (and apparently smaller) because I have changed my attitude about weight and food. My journey has been one about learning to love and accept my body as it is *now*, not some imagined future body. For me the path to body acceptance is letting going *trying* to loose weight. Not planning food intake or exercise with weight loss as a motivator. So, the loving and caring for my body that results from that along with interest in controlling anxiety without medication is what has been motivating me to do yoga, cardio, walk the dog, etc.

What about food? Chronic indigestion has been a motivator to eat smaller meals, especially at supper, and avoid chocolate, ice cream, etc. So, the result of moving more and taking in less food is that I've lost weight. This is a good thing, right? Sure…what I'm working on now is not letting the sickness of body pre-occupation take me again....and I fear it has been creeping in. I am worried that the excitement of buying size 16 jeans after years of wearing 22 is causing me to start to think...'gee, if I do this or that, I can loose even *more* weight, and maybe be able to wear a bathing suit by summer time', etc, etc. I so do not want to go there! I do not want to be tempted to monitor my food intake or plan my physical activities with a weight loss as a goal....that has been so damaging for me in the past.

I have also found it challenging because now the weight loss has become noticeable. People are commenting on it now. And...the righteous indignation I feel of people feeling free to comment on each others bodies somehow doesn't flare up as bad when someone is saying 'gee you lost weight'. I mean a) the person feels they are paying me a compliment, so how can I be a bitch and say 'how dare you make commentary on my body? and b) I cannot deny the secret little thrill I feel when that happens. *sigh*...the thing is...the 'gee you've lost weight' is so damaging! It plants those little seeds of body preoccupation in my mind not only of what *more* I might be able to achieve, but the seeds of fear of 'what if I gain the weight back?' - people will think I am ugly again.

What really made me sad was a colleague who felt compelled to make a comment on my body, then go on to lament that everyone was loosing weight but her, and how horrible she was for not being able to do so as well. It just killed me....I do not want my body to cause another woman that kind of pain! I was able to mumble something about it all being about loving yourself *unconditionally*...but in the end I felt I let her down.

Now, does that mean that we can't complement each other? Not a bit! I love to hear "hey, you look great!", and I tell people that all the time. I just think commentary on each others bodies does more damage than good.

So, what it comes down to is this. I am glad I am moving my body more, it is good for my physical and mental health. I am glad I am eating relatively healthy food, and continue to work towards eating in response to hunger and being aware of when I am eating emotionally and working at other strategies. Again, my physical and mental health benefit. And if I am doing those things.... where my body weight lands - either where it is now, or down a bit, or back up a bit - that just doesn't matter. At least, that is what I am aiming for.

perhaps I am just one of those humourless feminists...

2009-09-30T07:35:00.002-06:00

...but I'm not really happening with the latest trend in breast cancer awareness ads. There is this movement apparently to bring men on board by showing very sexy ads with a 'save the breast' message, as if large, sexily displayed boobs is what it will take for men to care about breast cancer. Men don't care if they loose their wives, mothers, daughters...

hmm... Not that I'm against some sexy fun, but I'm just not sure about this. Insulting to both men and women.

What footprints do you want to leave frozen in time?

2009-09-08T21:08:00.004-06:00

I would love to leave the footprints of just my own feet...is that possible? Likely not - I've generated more than my share of garbage, burned fossil fuel, consumed natural resources. What's a girl to do? Aim for less I guess.

I would love to have some kind of impact on how we view our bodies. Find some way to support myself and others in not being slaves to what other people think we should look like. To counter all the Obesity Crisis propaganda with simple encouragement to appreciate the body that you have and to take care of it by moving it and feeding it well.

As I do not have children, I won't be leaving genetic footprints to carry through the ages. This doesn't bother me, really - I've no need to leave progeny behind in this overcrowded world. Humanity will go on without my contribution. What probably I will miss more than anything is someone who might be interested in hearing my stories when I am old. Perhaps I can pay some kid down the block to come and hear me ramble.... oh, don't worry about me - I will have lots of cats!

Hmm.. what I think I want to leave the most is a trail of positive connections with people. I would love to look back on my life and see plenty of times when I made a difference in someone's day.

Canadian, eh? What's that about???

2009-07-01T12:07:00.003-06:00

Being thankful for all that I have, and at the same time being sad/angry that there are folks who live hungry, without shelter and in fear. There is no justification.
Love of the land, the mountains, the prairie, the wind, the birds, the prairie dogs..
Pride and frustration in our medicare system, and fear that we are going to lose it.
Funny folks like John Candy, Mike Myers, Catherine O’Hara – I think we grow the best comedians here.
Coming to terms with the fact that this land that I love is stolen land. Shame that at the very least we cannot honour the treaties. Is that something we can ever make right?
The music…Blue Rodeo, Jann Arden, Luke Doucet, Ron Sexsmith, Sarah McLachlan, and if you want to back in time there is Bryan Adams, and Chilliwack…..
Growing beyond the narrow confines of defining ourselves as simply “not American”…with apologies to my many American friends, but it used to be true for me.
Wishing Canada fit the picture painted by Michael Moore in “Bowling for Columbine”…alas, we do not. Most of us lock our front doors, many of us have guns, and we are not free of injustice and hatred.
Keeping the "u" in labour, neighbourhood, colour....

Obviously, this isn't an exhaustive list, but I thought appropriate to lay down some thoughts about what it means to be Canadian on Canada Day..perhaps there will be more to come.

Here are some lyrics from Jim Cuddy’s ‘Countrywide Soul’ which is a beautiful homage to Canada – a bit hokey perhaps, but then so am I..

Oh I lay down in a meadow in the sky
And I held my breath as I fell into your eyes
I love your hair, smells sweet like pure Rocky Mountain air
Like the big sky shining on a Winnipeg night
Dust in the air and the Northern Lights
All in your country wide soul
I love your country wide soul

The Food Police – friend or foe

2009-05-09T10:33:00.001-06:00

(X-posted everywhere)

I’m sure most people are familiar with the food police. You know, that voice in your head that nags at you constantly about the food you consume. “you’re not going to eat THAT are you?” , “You are way to fat to eat that.” “Oh my, you are so BAD to have eaten that.” “Wow you have hardly eaten anything today, what a GOOD girl you are.”

For many people food is a heavily emotion laden subject, directly tied to how we look and our self esteem. Many of us have internalized the narrow view of beauty our society currently holds up into the constant barraging internal dialogue, like the one I described above, the Food Police. We constantly scrutinize what we take into our bodies and heap scorn upon ourselves if we consume anything that currently falls into the ever-changing definition of ‘healthy’.

Ironically this rarely is helpful in our efforts to be healthier. Human beings can tolerate only so much abuse before saying “f-you” and rebelling. Many of us, after listening to recrimination after recrimination from the Food Police eventually decide ‘what the hell, I’m a Bad Girl anyway, so I may as well have the whole box of Oreos.’ A parent/child dynamic is entered into with the Food Police and we become like children, who’s self worth becomes tied up with what food we have or have not ingested…whether we have been BAD or GOOD. That is one of the things that bugs me most about the dieting culture. It set dieters (mostly women) into this helpless child-like roll of external validation through what they have or have not eaten. How many times have you heard a friend say “Oh, I was so BAD yesterday and had a chocolate chip cookie”, or “Wow, you are so skinny, you must be doing something GOOD”.

I read this great book awhile back called Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. The authors suggest changing the Food Police inside your head to a character more like a Food Anthropologist. It seemed an intriguing idea to me, and I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately. Your inner Food Anthropologist, should you choose to connect with him or her is not out to catch you doing something bad, or heap recriminations on you for having a piece of cake. She is your observant inner scientist who takes insightful, helpful notes on how you are feeling and how what you eat makes you feel. She presents you the data with no judgment, leaving you to decide how you will act on the information. A much more empowering tool in moving toward healthy eating.

Having a chocolate bar as a pick me up in the afternoon? Your inner Anthropologist notices the sugar crash an hour later and keeps that information for you the next time you need an afternoon pick me up. Perhaps some yoga or a walk might be better? You might just take that walk and *still* have that chocolate bar. And, that’s okay. It does not mean you are BAD or GOOD. The important thing is that you are doing the best you can to take care of yourself. The more you learn to rely on your inner wisdom, you inner Anthropologist, for guidance the better choices you will make from a place of a self-loving adult instead of self-loathing child.

I think it is an idea worthy of exploration, and I think I am going to make some effort to connect with my inner Anthropologist and see how she can help me in my health journey.

A Cat's gotta eat

2009-05-09T09:14:00.002-06:00

Cat's mouse swallowed whole,
leg twitches, her end is met.
I do feel for her.

Haiku

2009-03-29T20:16:00.002-06:00

Snowy mountaintop.
A deer, also on my path.
Friend, we are safe.

*********************

Drumbeat easing fear.
I sink into her embrace,
reborn to the sun.

random thoughts on a letter I am composing to Barbara Kingsolver

2008-10-18T09:32:00.003-06:00

I am a fan of Barbara Kingsolver. She has written a lot of great novels with finely drawn characters and a sensitivity to the earth, and its inhabitants. So I was intrigued with her new book (not a novel) call Animal Vegetable, Miracle. It is reflections on a year her family spent eating only what they could grow or buy locally. A noble venture, in my mind. The book is sitting on my shelf awaiting me to make it through a slew of other books I am reading on body image to help prepare me for a support group I am going to run.

So, how could I have a beef with Ms. Kingsolver if I haven't read her book yet? Well, I listened to an interview with her on an American Radio show called "Speaking of Faith" (quite an interesting show available on podcast), and what I heard mostly confirmed what I thought about her as being an intelligent woman trying her best to have a positive impact on the planet. Until she started talking about the turkeys and chickens she and her family raised to eat. Now, beleive me, I have no problem with that. I don't eat meat, but it is a preference, not a moral choice. Where I believe the immorality comes into play is factory farms. Fairly certain that Kingsolver wasn't factory farming chickens and turkeys on her pastoral little farm, I had no issue with her raising them for food.

What got me going was an exchange she had with the host around 'harvesting' the animals. The host first made a comment on how fall is the time to kill the animals for food. Kingsolver protest that she preferred the word 'harvested' to 'killled'.... She went on to say that she believes the chicken/turkey meets their purpose on earth ...their 'destiny' by ending up on her dinner table. And she assures the listeners that these fowl are really stupid, will not be missed by any family as they do not recognise one another as individuals.

I was really taken aback and disspointed. Clearly to me she is trying to justify in her mind taking a life to sustain her own. I say, if you are going to eat meat *own* it. Acknowledge that you are sacrificing another life for you to live. Some honour dignity and respect is the least we owe creatures we consume...not to patronise and tell ourselves that they were put here on this earth only to satisfy our hungers. It is this belief that has lead to the rape of the world in my opinion.

Have some work to do on this before I send off to Ms. Kingsolver...any thoughts?

no Obama for us....

2008-08-29T09:06:00.005-06:00

On the front page of the Star Phoenix today we are given another story that Lorne Calvert is about to step down. Okay - I just want to know *when*. We are ready for and need a new leader on the left. We need someone with some strength and charisma. Calvert is a good man, but I haven't seen the kind of leadership that is willing to go the distance for progressive values. This NDP government has many legacies of shame to overcome, in my opinion.

For example, we have the NDP to thank for the TEA (Transitional Employment Allowance) program - a plan that many on social assistance we forced to move to that has *less* support and resources than SAP! The TEA general living allowance is lower, and many additional benefits (like a nutrition subsidy for pregnant women) were not available. Of course, this wouldn't have been such an issue if a woman who was pregnant was put on SAP...but no, many pregnant women were refused SAP and put on TEA.

What really got my goat were the reports arising out of this government a few years ago that "welfare" rates were down (those on TEA no longer counted as 'on assistance'), and therefore poverty was decreasing in our province! What a load of crap!

How does this happen under the governance of 'good' people like Calvert, Peter Prebble, Joanne Crofford???

I don't know. We need someone not only who is good at heart, but someone who is strong and can unite us all in a vision of a province and a country that cares about all its citizens! I can only wonder, where is our Obama???

something bad, something good

2008-08-28T10:31:00.003-06:00

I made the mistake yesterday of reading an article on the CBC Sask website about the four convicts who escaped. Well, reading the article wasn't a mistake, but reading the comments sure was. I guess whenever I tell somebody that racism and hatred toward aboriginal people is particularly intense here in the Land of Living Skies, I am telling it like it is. To see the article and the comments click here , but I would suggest having already taken your daily does of Xanax to avoid crashing into an all encompassing depression...esepecially if for some reason you still live here.

But, on a brighter note, it appears a clothing retailer is taking some responsibilty for contributing to the continuation of unrealistic expectations of how young women should look.

From today's Star Phoenix:
"A decision by retailer La Maison Simons to denounce its own fashion catalogue for using too-thin models and withdraw it from the marketplace was hailed by Quebec’s health minister and an eating-disorder expert.

On the heels of complaints about a junior women’s fashion catalogue, company president Peter Simons said he pulled the catalogue in a bid to remove images from the public domain that are “unsuitable” and don’t align with his company’s values.

The 36-page colour catalogue — with a print run of about 450,000 — features Simons’ Twik brand and photographs of thin, young women, who display more bone than flesh."

click here for their apology.

This is what a feminist looks like...

2008-08-04T13:18:00.004-06:00

Interesting video...a couple of great lines like "If you are really Pro-Life you would adopt a child"...

...the sound isn't great so I missed some of it.

the one where not much is going on in my head

2008-07-24T09:53:00.006-06:00

I have been quiet lately. Life has been busy with family stuff. What have I been thinking about? Well, the new, larger windows going into the kitchen for one thing. For the first time J and I are doing some actual home renovations. Lucky for us we have a brother who is willing to do it for cheap.

I've also been thinking how I need some time off work. I guess I feel tired and brain dead, so I haven't been able to get too fired up about anything. I have been doing some reading. I made it almost all the way through The Beothuk Saga. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to read the last third of the book that details the annihilation of the first peoples on Newfoundland. The first 2/3 of the book was interesting, though. A lot of gender role commentary. Now I am getting into some Carol Christ's non-fiction, which is great because I've wanted to read her books for some time.

Oh wait, there was a piece on Feministing about Purity Balls that caused me a general queasiness....but my brain isn't coming forth on even how to begin to take on this subject beyond a gut reaction of 'ewwwwww'. Check out the Feministing post for some insight. For me, the obvious first question is 'where are the purity balls for young men??'

....hmmm, I just read that last sentence again and find I am too amused to continue.

body image

2008-07-11T21:17:00.000-06:00

I read an interesting article in Ms. magaine on body image that suggests much of the over-emphasis women have on how their body looks is a result of societal conditioning that women are taught to view their bodies as "projects to be worked on", while men are taught to view their bodies as "tools to experience and master their environments".

Do you think that is true? And if so, how do you think your self image would be impacted if you regarded your body as a tool to experience the world instead of a never ending project?

Now, I never like broad generalizations, and the article does acknowledge that many men also feel pressure to look a certain way, and their are many women who embrace their bodies as they are. But i think there is some value in looking at this dichotomy and reflecting on how each of us views our bodies.

Any thoughts?

The Body Shop No More

2008-07-09T08:08:00.006-06:00

I was out shopping with my mother and we stopped at the Lush body and bath shop. I like their products, but they are just so expensive. However, they do have this fabulous Karma powder that both Jon and I like so I treated myself to some of that...well okay and a few other things.

I usually buy my toiletries at the Body Shop, especially since I started in my job last year and am making better money. The Body Shop stuff is a little more expensive than drug store cosmetics, but not nearly as expensive as the high falutin' stuff like Clinique and MAC. I like their products, and most important to me, the fact that their cosmetics aren't tested on animals. I am totally against any kind of animal exploitation and/or experimentation, even for medical purposes. And without a doubt I refuse to accept that for me to have raspberry flavoured lip gloss or to smell like the ocean, little bunny rabbits have to suffer.

So, back to yesterday at the Lush store. The lovely young woman who served us informed me that The Body Shop is now owned by L'Oreal. I was floored. Upon coming home I did some searching on the internet and lo and behold it is true...as of March 2006. I just couldn't believe it. There are a lot of opinions and debate expressed about this acquisition, mostly from folks like me who are disappointed because we believed we supported a company that didn't test on animals. Now, they are very adamant that The Body Shop will continue to operate as it always does, and the products sold in their stores will still be cruelty-free. But in my mind that makes no difference. In the end my money will still go to support a corporation that sill engages in animal testing. Some of the comments I read in support of the aquistion are arguing that the merger allowed The Body Shop to not go under and that L'Oreal is showing support for the values of the Tbe Body Shop and has 'plans' to move in that direction themselves..whatever that means. I guess I would prefer to wait until that time before supporting any of their businesses.

And it gets stickier than that...I stumbled upon a little (at this point unverified) nugget that L'Oreal is about 24% owned by Nestle...yikes! Nestle has a terrible corporate reputation in social responsibility and has created so many problems, especially in developing countries by introducing their baby formula to new mothers, creating dependence on their product, then starting to charge them. It just gets worse and worse the deeper your probe.

So, I guess no more trendy face wash, moisturizer and generally nice smelling stuff for me from the Body Shop. Guess I better print off the compassionate shopping list that PETA produces and start doing some investigating.

children focused policy

2008-06-26T19:40:00.004-06:00

In light of my post on corporal punishment, I thought this report on the latest from our provincial Children's advocate to be interesting. Although he doesn't refer to spanking specifically, it is a commentary on how children's rights should supercede those of parents.

Mr. Bernstien (the Children's Advocate) states our province's child protection policy needs to be more child focused instead of family centered. He believes the family centered approach (keeping the family together as a priority) has lead to children being abused in our province. I'm not sure if I agree with Mr. Bernstien, but I do think it bares looking at. I do fear if his advice is taken to hear the the pendulum will swing to far (as it tends to do in this province) to a climate of fear and we will againstart snatching children away from their family at the first sign of trouble instead of working with families to address the issues they face, and make systemic changes to bring people out of poverty.

crawling skin

2008-06-26T19:38:00.004-06:00

At the mention of Jim Pankiw my skin always crawls.

His name came up yesterday in a news report that he was unsuccessful in blocking the human rights tribunal against him that will examine the pamphlet he distributed to his constituency while he was an MP. Pankiw claims the pamphlett was all about promoting equality - that he is an egalitarian. He feels that Aboriginal people have more / special rights, and that isn't fair. Racism ensconced in egalitarianism. Yikes. I wonder, if he thinks Aboriginal people have it so great, so many special privileges that white folks have, if he would want to *be* an Aboriginal person? To have access to all those special priveledges and advantages? I don't know...I'm only guessing...but I think he would cringe at the thought. What does that mean for equality?

CBC report can be found here

Bill S-209

2008-06-25T18:58:00.002-06:00

I just read a commentary in the SP about the proposed Bill S-209, essentially an
'anti-spanking bill'. It will be interesting to see what happens with this bill. While I can appreciate some folks may feel resentment if they think the government is interfering with how they raise their children, to me it comes down to a simple question:

If it is illegal for one adult to strike another, why is it okay to strike a child?

I just don't get it. I don't buy the argument that parents and guardians would start being persecuted for using force in situations like grabbing a child's hand away from a hot stove or pulling them away from oncoming traffic. Those aren't the situations anti-spanking bills are addressing. I also don't buy the logic of 'my parents spanked me, and I turned out okay'. Sure, that may be - but there are many things that our parents may have done (like smoke and drink while we were in utero, drive around without seat belts) that we now all agree isn't a good idea.

What I would be interested in is really under standing the value that folks who would oppose this bill would be trying to protect.

on hiatus

2008-06-24T07:10:00.002-06:00

until this weekend likely. I'm a conference on Community Development, and then a workshop on Developmental Evaluation with Michael Quinn Patton.

I know, I know...how do I stand the excitement? Hopefully I will have some reflections on what I learned to share here.

Yesterday's session on how to respond to racist comments was interesting and I will be sure to share the format/approach the presenter suggested.

A Canadian Citizen or a member of a Settler Society?

2008-06-22T07:59:00.004-06:00

More reflections on Aboriginal Day, or rather on our relations with the indigenous populations of this land. I have been reading the most recent issue of Briarpatch, another great magazine, and in the articles there I have been challenged to move beyond just being supportive toward Aborginal people in a bland kinda way to being an active part of making peace between our cultures.

Questions were posed throughout the issues like:

Should we be held accountable for the sins of our ancestors who came to this land and how they dealt with the fact that there were already people who lived here?

ummm...yeah??? Of course! You can't just sweep the past under the rug. What is undeniable is that we continue to benefit from the shady dealings of our forebears. Canada is a rich land, and I wouldn't be sitting in my quaint little garden sipping fairtrade coffee, or enjoying any of the other fruits of my employment without the agreements and treatys that were made. I just wish the deal had been a fair one and that it would be honoured.

Have we been here long enough and come to a peaceful understanding with the indigenous peoples who were hear before us to call ourselves Canadian citizens, or are we still settlers fighting to assert our rights to what isn't ours?

Wow - this is a powerful question. Throughout the issue there is a reference to the 'settlers' or 'settler society' - that would be us white folks. I have a hard time thinking my Canadian citizenship is invalid...but I think trying on the term 'settler' could be a powerful word in shifting some folks thinking.

Are we ready to acknowledge that the residential school system wasn't a 'benevolent but misguided policy' rather an intentional pillar of attempted genocide?

I know I am... and perhaps the apology from the government might be a start in bringing that awareness to the collective concisouness of the nation.

....I will explore these ideas more in the weeks to come, especially on how to actively contribute in a positive way to improving relations.

National Aboriginal Day

2008-06-21T18:22:00.002-06:00

From the Indian and Northern Affairs Website:

"On June 21st, 2008, Canadians from all walks of life are invited to participate in the many National Aboriginal Day events that will be taking place from coast to coast to coast.

June 21st kick starts the 11 days of Celebrate Canada! which includes National Aboriginal Day (June 21), Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day (June 24), Multiculturalism Day (June 27) and concluding with Canada Day (July 1)!"

*******************************

I hope all my Aboriginal friends have a wonderful day.

the one where Stephen Harper comes to town

2008-06-21T08:09:00.002-06:00

Today's news....

Thanks to a federal cash injection our city is getting a new bridge that will keep traffic flowing in a much more efficient way. My hubby keeps saying in a voice of doom that Sask is becoming...'the New Alberta'....that's where he thinks we are going. Well, dammit you can't stop progress! I don't know what he is grumping about - I think he should just let his neck turn red and get with the program.

I think it is funny that the Prime Ministers think our City Councilors are a threat to his security, and didn't allow them to come along for the big photo shoot. Only the Mayor was allowed, and he was kept guessing until the end as to what was going on. Not an unusual situation for him I'm sure. Could it be that our PM didn't want to risk being asked questions by our more progressive City Councilors? Bob Pringle or Charlie Clark may have put him on the spot? It makes me laugh to think Bob and Charlie as security risks.

now for something completely different:

And have you read about the school in Massachusetts with the huge jump in teenage pregnancies? And it's more than the typical story of young women who somehow find themselves with a bun in the oven. These are young women who have deliberately sought to get pregnant, and have even made pregnancy pacts with each other. This is the first I've heard of something like this! There is much speculation on the influences of movies like Juno and Knocked-Up (neither of which I've seen). Also, the school in question apparently refuses to provide family planning information or things like condoms.

I'm wondering if this is happening elsewhere? very disturbing

abc comments on the pact mentality of teenagers here.

the one where i get something good in the mail

2008-06-20T21:47:00.003-06:00

I got the latest edition of Bitch magazine in the mail today...yay! I love my Bitch magazine. The perfect thing on a Friday evening with a beer and watching my hubby work in the garden while I sluff off.

So far I've read a couple of interesting articles, one about female Star Trek fans (yes, they do exist!) and another about Prince as a sorta feminist rock star. The misogyny of "Purple Rain" aside, he wrote some really compelling lyrics, not only frankly celebratory about all kinds of sexuality, but also about honouring women and treating them with respect. And, did you know he became a Jehovah's Witness? Apparently so...though not sure if he still practices. Wild.

Also found a link to an interesting site called Sociological Images, that takes a moment to explore the images we are being bombarded with on a daily basis. Apparently it was started by a sociology prof whose students were doubtful of the pervasiveness of sexism in media.

poetry for the solstice

2008-06-20T20:50:00.002-06:00

another blogger found these, and I liked them so much I am repeating them here...

It doesn't interest me if there is one God
Or many gods.
I want to know if you belong – or feel abandoned;
If you know despair
Or can see it in others.
I want to know
If you are prepared to live in the world
With its harsh need to change you;
If you can look back with firm eyes
Saying “this is where I stand.”
I want to know if you know how to melt
Into that fierce heat of living
Falling toward the center of your longing.
I want to know if you are willing
To live day by day
With the consequence of love
And the bitter unwanted passion
Of your sure defeat.
I have been told
In that fierce embrace
Even the gods
Speak of God.

~ David Whyte ~
(Fire in the Earth)

*************************************

Every summer
I listen and look
under the sun's brass and even
into the moonlight, but I can't hear

anything, I can't see anything --
not the pale roots digging down, nor the green stalks muscling up,
nor the leaves
deepening their damp pleats,

nor the tassels making,
nor the shucks, nor the cobs.
And still,
every day,

the leafy fields
grow taller and thicker --
green gowns lofting up in the night,
showered with silk.

And so, every summer,
I fail as a witness, seeing nothing --
I am deaf too
to the tick of the leaves,

the tapping of downwardness from the banyan feet --
all of it
happening
beyond any seeable proof, or hearable hum.

And, therefore, let the immeasurable come.
Let the unknowable touch the buckle of my spine.
Let the wind turn in the trees,
and the mystery hidden in the dirt

swing through the air.
How could I look at anything in this world
and tremble, and grip my hands over my heart?
What should I fear?

One morning
in the leafy green ocean
the honeycomb of the corn's beautiful body
is sure to be there.

From West Wind: Poems and Prose Poems, by Mary Oliver. Published by Houghton Mifflin Co., Boston. Copyright 1997 by Mary Oliver.

Sexism and US politics.

2008-06-17T08:23:00.003-06:00

I just watched the video below after reading an article in Planet S about the still very strong political gender gap that has been highlighted these past months with Hillary' bid for office in the U.S. I'm not an American, so I do not feel I have a right or enough information to make much commentary on US politics, but here are my thoughts from afar.

I was/am thrilled that either a black man or a woman is likely going to be the next President of the United States, either is great!! But as a woman myself I couldn't help but feel an extra thrill at the thought of a woman at the helm, a really important step in the move to equality for women...I mean a *big* freakin move! I even had a dream that Hillary won not only the nomination, but the election and it was just so exciting! But it is not to be at this time. All we have to cling to is the few episodes of Commander in Chief that were made a few years back... ahhhh where is Geena Davis when we need her?

A few weeks ago I was visiting a good friend - someone I love dearly who has very different often apposing political views as mine. I expressed hope that Hillary might win to her and my friend looked at me aghast and said something like "Oh, you would give her the Vagina vote??" and I thought about that for a second...and was about to launch into what I know of Hillary's experience and qualification (of which my knowledge is admittedly limited) when I decided to be truthful. "Yep." I said. If I was an American I would have jumped at the chance to vote for Hillary because she is a woman. Why not? Just as valid as voting for someone because they have a penis, which after centuries of practice hasn't gotten us very far.

I realize this is a rather glib response and I hope in no way casts dispersions on Hillary's abilities. However, it still sadly seems abilities aren't enough. Watching the the clips from the video are very disturbing, and I hope future female political leaders aren't too discouraged to throw their hats into the ring.

There was also some interesting reflections on the political gender gap in Canada in the article in Planet S - you can read it for yourself here.

More information can be found at the website of the Women's Media Center.

spirituality and apologies

2008-06-14T08:15:00.007-06:00

A lot has been jumbling around in my brain lately.

Since a chat on facebook started by my beloved niece, I've been thinking a lot about evangelistic Christianity and faith healing. The issue I've had isn't so much with the faith healing itself...but rather the extreme evangelistic Christianity that seems to go hand in hand with faith healing, which in my experience is connected to extreme right wing politically. I have a perception that in the evangelistic faith community there is also a lack of tolerance, let alone embracing of diversity. I have a perception of what I can only describe as a 'spiritual warrior' mentality of exclusion and doom for anyone who doesn't have the same kind of relationship to God that they do. And to me, that seems in complete contradiction to how I perceive Jesus taught us to love one another. Perhaps I am wrong - I hope so. Perhaps I wouldn't be cast into the fire for relating to a feminine expression of the divine. I hope not. I am sure there is a lesson for me here as well to not generalize and be open to hearing the loudest voice doesn't speak for everyone.

I've also been thinking a lot about the apology to the Aboriginal peoples of Canada from our government. It's about time....what the heck has taken so long? I think this apology could mark a shift in our relationship with Aboriginal people, if there really is a sense of remorse from the whole population. If we can really name the elephant in the room, and find a way to move on.

What has really blown me away is the reaction of the Aboriginal people I know. They are truly touched by this apology. It actually means something to them. They haven't become so cold in their hearts after all these years to be unaffected by these contrite words. I don't know that I would be as big a person having experienced the same things. I think likely I would be hiding in my little cave and saying 'fuck you'..... Instead when I told a woman I know about the facebook "I am sorry group", tears welled up in her eyes. My goodness, I guess the capacity for forgiveness holds no bounds. I could a lot about forgiveness.

The cynical part of me wonders 'why now?'. I must confessed that it galls me that these important words came out of Stephen Harper's mouth. What has he to gain from this? Is it some smoke and mirrors to distract us all and paint himself as a great guy, so when more axes fall and social programming cut we will blind to what he is doing? I hope not.

DQ Commercial

2008-06-01T11:35:00.005-06:00

I've seen this commercial a few times and it has bothered me a lot. I haven't been able to put it into to words, but FeministGal has done a fairly good job. Benevolent sexism is alive and well.

Eat Pray Love

2008-05-31T17:37:00.003-06:00

Last weekend I read Eat, Pray, Love, and for the most part I really enjoyed it. The author does a good job of telling her story in an amusing and easy to read style. I could relate a lot to her journey, and appreciated many of the insights. I like what she says about ritual being a safe space,"a resting place for complicated feelings of joy and trauma" And I had to laugh at her insight around the folly of the Grandiose Plan. I often fall into that trap, so it was good insight to pause and remember that I don't have to change who I am to make a connection to the divine. Not that I don't make plans to work on myself, but it is better to avoid big sweeping statements like "I'm giving up TV" and "starting next week I am going to eat only _____ and exercise ___ times". Rarely, when I make the Grandiose plan do I follow through. My psyche immediately starts to rebel and I, 'fail'. Then I feel bad and spiral into coping behaviours.

I have found instead of spending all the time that I used to thinking about all these things, it has worked better for me to identify what I do want to spend my time doing (playing guitar, reading, cooking good food, yoga) and just get busy doing them. And lo, what seems to happen? Less time watching TV and eating more healthfully.

A couple of times in the book the idea of human superiority surfaced. This always irks me. The idea that humans are the only animals aware of their own mortality, of themselves as individuals and of the divine. I dunno, I always have a reaction to these kinds of sentiments that is way down deep in my gut. Ideas like this to me are an example of human arrogance. How presumptuous we are. How can we possibly know who the chickadee is singing to? I think this relegating animals to lesser spiritual beings allows us to feel okay with the abuse we inflict on them.

...at least, thats what I think.

A good read.

Elephant Self Portrait

2008-03-30T08:16:00.002-06:00

I have been posting this video everywhere. It may well be a hoax, but if you google 'elephant self portrait' you get a couple of news stories that support it.

If this isn't a hoax I hope it encourages us to pause and reflect on our relationship with other creatures and the rest of the natural world.

my bubble burst

2008-03-29T14:25:00.005-06:00

Here is an image to signify my commitment to honouring Earth Hour tonight. My commitment has been spurred on by posts at Small Dead Animals... in her post on Earth Hour.

Apparently there are many people who think global warming and the damage being done to our environment is all hooey! As hard as that is to wrap my brain around, what I really cannot understand is the glee with which folks who have commented on the Earth post on this blog are gleefully planning ways to be wasteful and pollute the earth more. The pompous and desperateness to cling to entitlement to have their toys and rape and pillage the earth astounds me.

I realize much of this is tongue in cheek, but as I read the comments filled with disdain, my heart broke and I felt like I was witnessing...well evil.

The continued Station 20 west drama isn't helping my mood either.

But I am going to turn off my damn lights at 8.

Hopeless

2008-03-28T20:01:00.002-06:00

March 28, 2008
I am so angry at our premier Brad Wall and our Sask Party government. Never mind the weird shit that is going on at the Ministry of Social Services. The staff being briefed last Thursday on a new direction of no case planning, flat utility benefits, expanded call centre, and major lay-offs, only then to read in the paper yesterday that the Minister knew nothing about this new direction, this “modernization’ of social service deliverty and is launching a full investigation (what the hell?).

What has really got me going is the pull funding from Station 20 West. Funding that was long fought for from our previous government (funny, for NDP political favouritism, it sure was hard to drag out of them!). What really incensed me today was the article in today’s SP where Brad dismissively refers to Station 20 as a ‘mall’…A MALL. My head just about exploaded. Equating a gathering together of health services, a library and a grocery store with a Starbucks, a MoneyMart and a video store!

When will people get it into their heads that a little investment in services saves the system in a big way in reduced health care costs and less burden on our overburdened and expensive justice system???

Okay what else really burned me was his whining about the unfairness to the private sector…to quote:

“We don’t think that the government of Saskatchewan should be opening up basically a mall development, where we’d be competing with grocery stores, competing with others who are already renting (facility space) now to community clinics in the area.”

Huh? Well, what grocery stores??? The whole reason Station 20 developed is because there ARE NONE in the area. The groups behind Station 20 spent years approaching grocery retailers trying to entice them into the area to no avail. Even the Saskatoon Co-op couldn’t be persuaded. When the free market fails to serve the people ..which it seems to do a LOT, it is beholden on our governments to support initiatives like this one.

Not a political decision my great aunt fanny….

warning - sensitive issue ahead....

2008-03-26T21:25:00.004-06:00

...proceed at your own risk.

I found this video clip on this site.

No question that I sit on the pro-choice side of the abortion debate. However, I have always at least understood how someone could feel differently. It is a tough issue. However, I find this fellows views on all contraception very disturbing. Apparently contraception causes people to view children as accidents and pregnancy as a disease to be avoided at all costs.

*whew* - I knew a dodged a major bullet by not having kids. I'm ever so much healthier!

Yay Italy!

2008-03-26T20:29:00.001-06:00

Check out this news article on an Anti-Anorexia campaign in Italy - sounds like a step in the right direction.

Did you know Weight Watchers isn't a diet?

2008-03-26T19:53:00.004-06:00

Every time I see that commercial I see red. How dare they? How dare they cash in on the beginnings of people seeing that continuous dieting is an unhealthy mentality! I mean the absolute and unmitigated gall. Weight Watchers is a diet!!!!!

I have recently heard about a concept called Intuitive Eating (thanks to Juliet!) that I am learning about. I will post more as I learn about it and reflect. It is a whole mind shift to think that I can start to learn to listen to my body to tell me when I am hungry and when I am full. Anita Johnston talks about this a lot in her book "Eating in the Light of the Moon" - a book I *highly* recommend.

I have also been thinking a lot about how we seem to be easily duped into substituting 'healthy' for thin. As awareness increases around the dangers of negative body image and dieter mentality, people are quick to assure themselves and everyone around them that whatever plan they have embarked on is just about being 'healthy' - lets face it, I think most of the time the motivation, deep down, is still to be thin. At least it has been for me. But I am working on it! I am making progress in moving my body more often and eating healthy food to care for and nurture myself - just as I am. Loving myself unconditionally. But I do still find myself falling victim to picturing myself as thinner at some point in the future if I just 'keep it up'.

What I learned from Eating in the Light of the Moon is that those thoughts - bad body thoughts or focus on dieting or eating too much is a way for my mind to distract me from whatever is really going on in my life - some other emptiness. At these times I am learning to pause and reflect on what is *really* bugging me. And to not be afraid of my emotions...like being really bloody ticked off at those damn Weight Watchers ads!

Who benefits????

2008-03-25T07:49:00.003-06:00

soo....tax cuts benefit the wealthy, eh? Would never have guessed it. This article is from today's Saskaooon Star Phoenix. I keep thinking I need to start doing some work to counter this idea that taxes are bad - taxes are good, people!

Canada’s wealthy benefit most from tax cuts: study

By Eric BeauchesneCanwest News Service

OTTAWA — The tax burden on wages has eased in most of the world’s industrial countries this decade, including here, but Canada is among a minority where most of the relief has gone to high-income earners and the least to lower-income workers, says the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.

“Across the OECD, tax-burden changes have tended to favour low-wage earners,” the Paris-based organization said in a report on changes in the tax burden on wages in its 30 member countries.

“But in a significant minority of countries, tax reforms have mainly benefitted high-income groups,” it said in the report, citing Canada and a handful of other industrial nations, including the U.S.

“In Australia, Germany, Iceland, Ireland and Luxembourg, and, to a lesser extent in Canada and Norway, tax reforms tended to reduce the progressivity of the tax structure with high-earning employees benefitting the most from significantly higher tax reductions than those in the middle and bottom parts of the earnings range,” it said in the report. “Tax reductions . . . also tended to mainly benefit high-income earners in the United States.”

The report shows the tax burden on wages, or socalled tax wedge — the difference between the total labour costs to an employer and the net take-home pay of workers — eased by 1.3 per cent in Canada between 2000 and 2006, which is significantly more than the 0.1 per cent average reduction across the 30 industrial countries during that period.

However, in Canada most of that relief went to the highest income workers and the least to lower income workers, it said.

The report shows the tax-cutting agenda of governments is contributing to what other studies, including by Statistics Canada, have shown is a growing gap between rich and poor in Canada, said Armine Yalnizyan, senior economist with the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives, an Ottawabased economic think-tank.

“Those earning up to twice as much as the average wage are getting more of the benefits than those making half the average wage,” she noted.

Further, the report deals with the 2000-06 period, and tax changes since, including the tax-free savings account in the latest federal budget, are tilted even more in favour of better off Canadians.

In contrast, the OECD reported a half-dozen countries, including France, Belgium, Hungary, Italy, the Netherlands and Portugal have implemented targeted tax cuts this decade which have provided the most relief to employees whose wages were less than two thirds of the national average.

The report also shows Canadian employers’ social security contributions are “far below” the average for industrial countries, Yalnizyan noted.

“So you’re giving most of the tax cut package to the best off and doing nothing for the worst off,” she said.

Size Ate

2008-03-24T08:46:00.003-06:00

Check out this video, Size Ate - a look at a one woman show about body acceptance. I like her use of dressmaker forms and she brings a lot of humour to the subject. We need to see a lot more of things like this, and hopefully one day women won't have to struggle with the pressure to look a certain way.

First Post

2008-03-21T09:35:00.000-06:00

As I am getting older and more reflective of the world around me, I feel the urge within me to 'speak up', dammit! I want a place to practice my critical and analytical skills, thus the creation of this blog. I am a feminist and I wish to explore what that really means to me. What are my opinion of things that are going on in this world. How can I make a difference?

I am married, for almost 16 years now - have no children (more about that later), and live with four cats and a dog. I have lived in relative poverty for much of my life, but now find myself in a decent job with benefits. Why is this relevant? Not sure, but I have some exploration to do of now being a middle class white liberal chick who has the luxury of contemplation and the power to speak out. So, speak out about what??? That's what I am hear to figure out.